RUN YOUR MOUTH

It's downright amazing to be this friggin' close to thrusting my first book out into the world by the end of this April.  A lot of things went my way.  I happened to have enough money to self-publish, wisdom/assistance from a number of folks, bills/money hurdles I could handle, and the mad need to see this thing through.  But you know the real reason I'm getting this baby out in April?

'Cause I told everyone that I would.

I set the date in October (which was stupid).  I didn't have everything edited, my final copywright was still in limbo, and I didn't have the cover art set up . . . or a final book title locked in!  I even changed my mind on which self-publishing company to use (like, 3 times so far).  But here's the thing . . . I ran my mouth and ended up setting this beast up in six months.  And my family/friends just can't wait to see the fruition of my literary abilities this coming April.  Why?

'Cause I ran my mouth well enough to get them curious.  My stuff's so "different" that merely describing some of the short stories got people wanting to read the whole book.  That's the nice part of this increase in my blood pressure. 

And I wasn't about to let my fledgling readership down.  The fear of such an outcome is a useful stick, especially when I want to slack off a bit and maybe delay publication until May or June.

I nibbled at different aspects of this endeavor on a (pretty much) daily basis, which is the only reason I was able to do this at all.  Unlike a final exam, this isn't something that would've worked by a lot of last-minute "cramming".  Still, I'm tired, in need of a long vacation, and spewing money like an erupting volcano.

But I'll get "Unheroic" out by the last day of April . . . 'cause I said I would.

If you have a finished book, think of the following factors before you set a self-publishing date:

1. Treat that publishing date as etched in stone, like a wedding date.  It doesn't get changed/cancelled for any reason (even if you're dead).
2. Has your work been copywritten yet?  If so, cool.  If not, hit the Library of Congress' site and get your piece copywritten (thus allowing you to sue folks trying to plagiarize your stuff).  It can take from 2 - 6 months for the registration to go through.
3. What monetary obstacles are in your forseeable future?  For example, I was paying my editor on some last-minute edits during the Christmas holidays.  I was also paying for cover art during tax season.  Try to set your window during a boringish part of the year.
4. If you're self-publishing, I'd suggest that you get your business/tax situation settled.  For example, a vendor's license or a LLC might come in handy if you're starting your own business as a self-publisher.  Call up a few accountants/lawyers and get some wisdom.
5. Edit and re-edit the crap out of your "finished" work, even after the editor's done.  The both of ya' probably missed something.  Stop proofing the masterpiece only when it's well and truly finished, not when you're sick and tired of looking at it.
6. Be ready to sacrifice.  To meet a six-month deadline (without everything in place) will require some fast-paced spending of your time and hard-earned cash.  Treat your writing expenses like your rent/electric/car note, rather than a bottom-tiered expense.
7. Thoroughly research your publishing companies (and their contractual fine-print) before you relax and assume you'll be using their service.  Hit 'em up with questions now to avoid surprises later.
8.  And lastly, run your mouth.  Yes, you risk disappointing folks if you renege on the publishing date.  But guess what: if you tell enough people about what you're doing, you've created "buzz".  Without paying a dime toward advertising, you've got customers wanting to buy your masterpiece.  Better still, the peer pressure of meeting that deadline makes you a 1,000 times more disciplined than if you didn't have a locked-in date.

KEEPING SCORE

I'm busy.

It's spooky to be this busy.  Think of any point in your life where you had a "Hell Week" - cramming for too many final exams in too few days, that last week before your wedding, being understaffed on the job, etc.  Now imagine that running off into the unforseeable future. 

That's busy. 

And it has to be done.  'Cause if you don't do it (or can't pay someone else to do it), it won't get done.  Ah well.  It's good that I love what I'm doing.  And that lack-of-sleep-thing won't stop me, not with all the caffeine I'm packing. 

I got so busy that one of those little daily planner thingees just wouldn't cut it.  I buy 'em every so often, let them collect dust, and then throw 'em out during a spring cleaning (2 years later, on average).  So, I ultimatedly went into Excel and set up a spreadsheet.

Each row of the spreadsheet was a single, solitary day.  I filled up a bunch of columns with tasks I find necessary: whether it be working on Collection #2, paying writing-related bills, forcing myself to network with the outside world, submitting short stories to magazines, etc.  I throw in non-writing-related stuff too (b/c life intervenes in so many different ways), like chores or exercise. 

Um, if you don't know how to work Excel, put this blog entry under the nose of someone who does.  He/she can probably set this up in five minutes or less.  Buy him/her a lunch or something.

Each simple thing gets a score of 1 point.  I edit something: 1 point.  Send something to my editor to look over: 1 point.  Post a blog: 1 point.  MOST IMPORTANTLY: NEVER LET ANYTHING HAVE A "0" SCORE BY THE END OF THE WEEK.  Do something for each task, each week, and stuff won't slip past you. 

My goal's 25 points per week.  And I've yet to miss my quota.  I try to add stuff in the mornings, during lunch breaks, evenings, weekends . . . I need more hours in the day.  Last week was my busiest week to date.  I actually hit 36 points.

Yep.  I need a vacation.  The irony is that I'd probably spend (at least) a third of the time hunched over my computer, trying to knock down points as efficiently as I can.

TREAT YOUR DOLLARS LIKE SOLDIERS

Back when I was "broker-than-broke", I came up with an odd way to save money.  I imagined that I was at war against my bills and that my army was in my wallet/bank account.  Together, we'd fight the forces of the electric bill, rent, and the nigh-unslayable student loan.  And over the years, many a valiant "soldier" perished in the meat grinder of War.  Luckily, every payday, reinforcements would arrive.  But every so often, I'd waste my "soldiers" on trips, movies, and fun nights out: especially back when I didn't know what I wanted out of life (you know, that "writing thing").

I know.  It's goofy.  But damn if it didn't work!

And I wasn't cheap.  If a friend was in trouble, I'd help him/her in the same way a leader would send troops to help (and maybe die) for a treasured ally.  And this dollar = soldier philosophy came and went, depending on what I was trying to pay off.  But I'll tell you this, my legion of readers [lol]: when you finally deem your work to be complete and ready to send forth, treat your cash like your own private army.  'Cause, at times, your loot will be your best friend and can help you acquire your heart's desire (well-edited literature, self-publishing expenses, a new computer to type up stories with, etc.). 

Having just put Collection #1 in the can, paid taxes, donated money to charity, paid off my cover art, I'm feeling like Sun Tzu or Hannibal after a major campaign.  Somehow, I did all of the above in under a year, with a whole lot of self-deprivation (similar to wartime) and with wicked casualties.  But the enemy's in full retreat because of prudent planning, discipline, hard work, and tons of luck.

The war ain't over 'til it's won, of course.  But I'm feeling good about this fight.  All I have to do now is make sure that I don't sacrifice too many of my valiant "soldiers" over useless tactical objectives (like a new car).

But seriously, if you're gonna get into the self-publishing game, save a ton of money . . . [okay, stop laughing] . . . [no, really - knock it off].  Life doesn't let the average human being save money.  So you'll probably either give up or pay as you go. 

Do the latter. 

The "pay-as-you-go" tactic can be done, as long as you strategically plan ahead (like a general at war).  Look to the battles/war yet to be fought.  And then make sure that you use your "soldiers" wisely.

Doritos Kid Slaps Man Super Bowl Commercial 2010

THANK GOD FOR WIKIPEDIA!

Once uponn a time, in a darkened room with a nice rug, I was doing a rewrite on an old short story called "The Bloodjacker".  In said short story, a guy from Jersey decided to take a Japanese longbow and shoot a vampire he had stumbled across in a Tokyo alleyway.

Did I know diddly about Japanese longbows?  Nope.  So what did I do?  I went to Wikipedia and rooted around until I found a decent photo of one, along with a description of what they're typically made of and how effective they were.  Such details helped make my story better.

My advice: use Wikipedia when you need detailed information on a place, event, historical figure, type of surface-to-air missile, etc.  It's better than the encyclopedias of old, with pictures and links galore.  It's like having an expert standing over your shoulder.

So, if that Google search isn't doing it for ya', hit Wikipedia with an evil smile.

The link's below: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

or,

Just type in "Wikipedia" in the appropriate search engine.