I give up trying to write tons of stuff during the holidays. The chains of "couch potatoism" are just too strong for my psyche to break. I wasted Xmas Eve, Xmas Day, and I've only put in a few hours today. It's embarrassing . . . like losing an arm wrestling match to a 4 year-old.
But that's the thing. My pace is workaholic-plus. As much as I hate to admit it, the holidays allow me a free pass at catching up on my sleep and watching seasons of TV shows that I've missed. Such is life. Come New Year's, I might actually let go of the reins a bit and - nah.
I'll try to write during that break too. And the next one . . . ad infinitum.
Still, I need to warn you lot about something. When doing longer works (say, a novel), don't stop pecking away at it for more than two days straight. If you do, you'll feel awkward when you get back to it. Write something - even a paragraph or five during a vacation/holiday - in order to maintain that flow of continuity. Don't know what I'm babbling about? Okay, think of the following examples:
1 - You're blazing away at a video game. The phone rings. You pause, answer, and return to continue your game - only to get slaughtered five seconds later. Why? You lost your flow.
2 - You're having that kicking dream. One so good/bad/weird that you might actually remember it when you wake up. Then something wakes you up. You can go back to sleep. Hell, you might even dream some more. But that particular dream is gone. And there's no way to get it back.
You want to save that flow, when writing. And if you step away from it for too long, you'll lose it. Yes, you can soldier on, but it won't feel right. Since I haven't write sh$t since Thursday, I did what I normally do in these situations: I edited the prior chapters. Something about proofreading gets me back into the story enough so that I can keep its voice when I start with the new material. Also, I'm less inclined to forget pesky details (names, situations, who lost an eye, etc.).
So, enjoy the rest of your holidays and be safe.
Hope this was of use.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
HOW TO TELL IF AN IDEA'S GOOD ENOUGH
Hi folks,
Before I forget, Merry Christmas and all that. Hope you don't get boring presents, sick, or eaten by rabid yetis. There goes the last of my holiday spirit. My normal state of "bah humbuggery" has returned. Can't wait for New Year's because it's more fun.
Now,
Here's a tip that I've found in more than one of my many dust-covered books on writing over the years: whenever you have a good idea, jot it down so that you don't forget it.
If you think about it, you've probably jotted something down in your life. Your grocery lists, to-do-lists, etc. Personally though, I don't like jotting down ideas. Ideas should be seen in a Darwinistic sort of way. As busy as I am, it's child's play to forget lots of stuff (and I do).
But the idea of a story should be good enough - powerful enough - to be remembered. If it's something you have to write down, in oreder to remember, is it really worth keeping?
For example, I came up with the idea of a story called "Ghost Pimp" about a year ago. I repeat: a year ago. I never wrote a story around it. Out of good taste, I may never write it. But, dammit, the idea is so powerful - so strange - that it won't go away. And yesterday, I came with the idea of a short story on the fly. It struck me as pretty darned clever . . . and now, I can't remember it at all. Ah well. Maybe, like a stray dog, it'll come back.
But if it doesn't, I won't cry over "spilled lit".
Ideas, for us creative types, come and go. Don't let a mediocre idea slow you down. And when something you can't get out of your head comes to you, please write it down (unless it's called "Ghost Pimp", of course).
Hope this was of use.
Before I forget, Merry Christmas and all that. Hope you don't get boring presents, sick, or eaten by rabid yetis. There goes the last of my holiday spirit. My normal state of "bah humbuggery" has returned. Can't wait for New Year's because it's more fun.
Now,
Here's a tip that I've found in more than one of my many dust-covered books on writing over the years: whenever you have a good idea, jot it down so that you don't forget it.
If you think about it, you've probably jotted something down in your life. Your grocery lists, to-do-lists, etc. Personally though, I don't like jotting down ideas. Ideas should be seen in a Darwinistic sort of way. As busy as I am, it's child's play to forget lots of stuff (and I do).
But the idea of a story should be good enough - powerful enough - to be remembered. If it's something you have to write down, in oreder to remember, is it really worth keeping?
For example, I came up with the idea of a story called "Ghost Pimp" about a year ago. I repeat: a year ago. I never wrote a story around it. Out of good taste, I may never write it. But, dammit, the idea is so powerful - so strange - that it won't go away. And yesterday, I came with the idea of a short story on the fly. It struck me as pretty darned clever . . . and now, I can't remember it at all. Ah well. Maybe, like a stray dog, it'll come back.
But if it doesn't, I won't cry over "spilled lit".
Ideas, for us creative types, come and go. Don't let a mediocre idea slow you down. And when something you can't get out of your head comes to you, please write it down (unless it's called "Ghost Pimp", of course).
Hope this was of use.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Christina Katz's tips on Platform-building
Hmm.
There's this how-to writer named Christina Katz. I've got one of her books, "How To Get Known Before The Book Deal". Basically it's a how-to book for self-publishing authors who want to build a platform of potential readers before their books even get published. The concept intrigued me enough to buy a copy.
Like most books in my how-to collection, it's been barely read because I'm odd that way (see my post on "Build Your Own Hall of Reference"). While her book leaned toward nonfiction writers, some of her advice is relevant for fiction writers too.
Hit the link below if you're curious. I know I was.
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/50-simple-ways-to-build-your-platform-in-5-minutes-a-day?et_mid=529771&rid=191148924
Hope it's of use.
There's this how-to writer named Christina Katz. I've got one of her books, "How To Get Known Before The Book Deal". Basically it's a how-to book for self-publishing authors who want to build a platform of potential readers before their books even get published. The concept intrigued me enough to buy a copy.
Like most books in my how-to collection, it's been barely read because I'm odd that way (see my post on "Build Your Own Hall of Reference"). While her book leaned toward nonfiction writers, some of her advice is relevant for fiction writers too.
Hit the link below if you're curious. I know I was.
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/50-simple-ways-to-build-your-platform-in-5-minutes-a-day?et_mid=529771&rid=191148924
Hope it's of use.
Monday, November 14, 2011
I HAD PANCAKES
The worst thing about the midlife crisis phenomenon is that I've had more than one. My first one hit me after grad school, when I was 25ish. Sort of a "What now?" phase, it was followed by a bunch of other mid-life moments. I don't remember how many. I just remembered that lost, restless, "there's-gotta-be-more-to-life-than-this" feeling: of watching months and years fall off the calendar without a real plan.
Then I crossed into 30-something land and figured I wanted to be a writer . . . but of what type? I did novels, screenplays, short stories and couldn't lock on to a solid plan of attack. I had excuses galore to not do jack: the current self-publishing technology wasn't around, I didn't have the money to start a business, women, laziness, blahblahblah. But I couldn't stop trying. And as many times as I stopped writing, I had to start up again (it's in blood, I guess).
Know what? I'm glad my life was a chaotic pile of sewage all those years.
Why? Because, when I turned 38 in 2009, I was looking ahead and chomping at the bit to get sh$t done. I had some help for my first book ("Unheroic"), the means to see it published, tons of written ideas/material in reserve, and nothing left to stop me. When life finally fell into place, all those years of stumbling around in the dark were actually useful. I became a better, more focused writer and much wiser coming out of the gate.
Now I'm 40.
And during my last hour as a 30-something, I decided to get pancakes. The best thing about this midlife crisis phenomenon was that I had irons in the fire way before I hit 40. I don't wanna imagine how crappy it would've been like to wake up, turn 40, and THEN start a writing from scratch. Nope, I simply had breakfast and checked Amazon.com, waiting on them to upload my second collection: "The Book of Schemes".
I guess the moral of this particular ramblage is this: if you want to write, but aren't ready to publish, just write until you are ready. Look ahead, keep your life baggage to an acceptable minimum, and learn what you can. Then, someday, I hope you'll be able to quietly celebrate a birthday without that nagging midlife itch in your soul - whether you're in your 20's or your 90's.
Hope this was of use.
Then I crossed into 30-something land and figured I wanted to be a writer . . . but of what type? I did novels, screenplays, short stories and couldn't lock on to a solid plan of attack. I had excuses galore to not do jack: the current self-publishing technology wasn't around, I didn't have the money to start a business, women, laziness, blahblahblah. But I couldn't stop trying. And as many times as I stopped writing, I had to start up again (it's in blood, I guess).
Know what? I'm glad my life was a chaotic pile of sewage all those years.
Why? Because, when I turned 38 in 2009, I was looking ahead and chomping at the bit to get sh$t done. I had some help for my first book ("Unheroic"), the means to see it published, tons of written ideas/material in reserve, and nothing left to stop me. When life finally fell into place, all those years of stumbling around in the dark were actually useful. I became a better, more focused writer and much wiser coming out of the gate.
Now I'm 40.
And during my last hour as a 30-something, I decided to get pancakes. The best thing about this midlife crisis phenomenon was that I had irons in the fire way before I hit 40. I don't wanna imagine how crappy it would've been like to wake up, turn 40, and THEN start a writing from scratch. Nope, I simply had breakfast and checked Amazon.com, waiting on them to upload my second collection: "The Book of Schemes".
I guess the moral of this particular ramblage is this: if you want to write, but aren't ready to publish, just write until you are ready. Look ahead, keep your life baggage to an acceptable minimum, and learn what you can. Then, someday, I hope you'll be able to quietly celebrate a birthday without that nagging midlife itch in your soul - whether you're in your 20's or your 90's.
Hope this was of use.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
What a week!
Hiya folks,
I'm in Day #6 of writing a novel. I'm doing the National Write A Novel Month thing. It's kicking my a$$ . . . but in a very satisfying way. I've gone over 8,000 words into the book, with this simple 3-part approach:
1. Get up too early and write at least 1,666 words before stopping.
2. Ponder what happens next throughout the regular work day.
3. Get to bed as early as possible.
I know . . . it's complicated. But this is what I do whenever I feel the need to mass produce. It's a rough draft that I could actually finish in 30 days (God willing). But that's not the sucky part. The sucky part's revising it into a polished novel.
Seeing as this will be Book #3 (and I plan on doing this for a living), I'll figure something out. For anyone else facing the future hurdles of rewriting a rough draft into something worth publishing, here's a link to a simple 5-step process for doing that very thing:
The Geyser 5-Step Approach To Revision
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/the-geyser-5-step-approach-to-revision?et_mid=522677&rid=191148924
It's an interesting process, one I can use bits of. But frankly, I'm probably gonna polish my book 'til it shines and drive my editor insane.
What I like most about this NaNoWriMo thing is that it can condense months of rough draft novelwriting into 30 painful days. This frees you up to revise at a more relaxed pace.
Even after November ends, I think I'll do all of my novels this way.
Well, off to dreamland. I've gotta figure out how to further develop my main character . . . who happens to have a bomb in his head.
I'm in Day #6 of writing a novel. I'm doing the National Write A Novel Month thing. It's kicking my a$$ . . . but in a very satisfying way. I've gone over 8,000 words into the book, with this simple 3-part approach:
1. Get up too early and write at least 1,666 words before stopping.
2. Ponder what happens next throughout the regular work day.
3. Get to bed as early as possible.
I know . . . it's complicated. But this is what I do whenever I feel the need to mass produce. It's a rough draft that I could actually finish in 30 days (God willing). But that's not the sucky part. The sucky part's revising it into a polished novel.
Seeing as this will be Book #3 (and I plan on doing this for a living), I'll figure something out. For anyone else facing the future hurdles of rewriting a rough draft into something worth publishing, here's a link to a simple 5-step process for doing that very thing:
The Geyser 5-Step Approach To Revision
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/the-geyser-5-step-approach-to-revision?et_mid=522677&rid=191148924
It's an interesting process, one I can use bits of. But frankly, I'm probably gonna polish my book 'til it shines and drive my editor insane.
What I like most about this NaNoWriMo thing is that it can condense months of rough draft novelwriting into 30 painful days. This frees you up to revise at a more relaxed pace.
Even after November ends, I think I'll do all of my novels this way.
Well, off to dreamland. I've gotta figure out how to further develop my main character . . . who happens to have a bomb in his head.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Halloween Factoids
I kinda' wished that Halloween didn't fall on a Monday this year. I would've much preferred that it hit on a Friday or Saturday, for maximum enjoyment purposes. Still, seeing as Halloween's (in part) about horror and it falls on Mondays (which tend to horrible), I can appreciate the irony. And even though I'm pushing 40, I'll keep celebrating it. It's my favorite holiday. It's that last good time before the Holiday season and Ohio winters - both of which I friggin' hate - wreak their havock.
I did my costume party revelry last night (as a Rasta Vamp). It was fun and relaxing. And I got to see this kid show up dressed up in Buzz Lightyear costume . . . that was made up mostly of balloons. I still still can't believe he came in second for Best Costume. What also cracks me up is that some of the folks around me are gonna party tonight (lucky bastards). Apparently, they don't have to punch a Monday morning clock (like me) and thus have the luxury of partying on a Sunday night.
Well, off to other things. I hope some of you grown-ups did something to mark the occasion. Just because you aren't a kid anymore doesn't mean that you have to sit out the occasion.
Below is a link to some interesting Halloween factoids, in case you were curious about where this light-weight holiday came from.
http://www.happyhalloween.at/history.html
Adios.
I did my costume party revelry last night (as a Rasta Vamp). It was fun and relaxing. And I got to see this kid show up dressed up in Buzz Lightyear costume . . . that was made up mostly of balloons. I still still can't believe he came in second for Best Costume. What also cracks me up is that some of the folks around me are gonna party tonight (lucky bastards). Apparently, they don't have to punch a Monday morning clock (like me) and thus have the luxury of partying on a Sunday night.
Well, off to other things. I hope some of you grown-ups did something to mark the occasion. Just because you aren't a kid anymore doesn't mean that you have to sit out the occasion.
Below is a link to some interesting Halloween factoids, in case you were curious about where this light-weight holiday came from.
http://www.happyhalloween.at/history.html
Adios.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tired of carving pumpkins?
If Halloween pumpkins aren't your thing, maybe you can figure out how to make sculptures out of bananas! I heard about this Japanese genius named Keisuke Yamada. Tap the link below to see some of his stuff.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/878781-japanese-artist-becomes-online-sensation-with-banana-sculptures
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/878781-japanese-artist-becomes-online-sensation-with-banana-sculptures
Monday, October 17, 2011
Build Your Own Hall of Reference
Back in the Golden Age, when Borders was in business and paper books ruled all, I stalked the Reference section in pursuit of "How-To" books on the writing genre. While I didn't doubt my skill, I figured that more knowledge was better than less. And some of the titles were just perfect sucker bait. They had how-to books on every element of writing inaginable: from how to write in a particular genre to how to market your first novel. They even had how-to books on how to write how-to books!
These days, I've got a small friggin' arsenal of how-to books on my shelf. And I've only read a few of them from cover-to-cover. I know it's weird . . . but think of whose blog you're reading. Anyway, reading how-to books is about as boring as reading textbooks. If you remember your days of academia, your teachers stuck you with X number of books per class and made you read selected chapters (basically, the ones that mattered). Like textbooks, how-to books are dull, long-winded, and difficult to use - especially if some stubborn part of your psyche hates writing to someone else's tune.
But amidst the "blah-blah-blah" of useless drivel are vital nuggets of wisdom which can aid you in the long-term writing game. The bitch is that you've gotta find them.
Every how-to writer has a different opinion on the how. And I've yet to find an "Idiot's Guide" or an "All You'll Ever Need to Know . . ." book with all the answers. You're probably better off camping out at your local library and/or compiling assorted wisdom from free articles/blogs on-line. However, if you have money to throw away, I urge you to buy how-to books and keep them close. Try to skim through the dull things, learn what you can, and apply their jigsaw wisdom.
And if you're crazy enough to self-publish (like me), you really should explore how-to books related to non-writing fields: like how to incorporate, run a small business or do online marketing. Also, consider how-to books which indirectly cover the writing process. I've got books on forensics, character names, screenwriting, and even blogging (none of which I've fully read yet). Yeah, I could go online and pull up neat little articles on these topics.
But at the end of the day, entire books trump little articles. And having that knowledge at your fingertips is just plain smart.
Hope this was of use.
These days, I've got a small friggin' arsenal of how-to books on my shelf. And I've only read a few of them from cover-to-cover. I know it's weird . . . but think of whose blog you're reading. Anyway, reading how-to books is about as boring as reading textbooks. If you remember your days of academia, your teachers stuck you with X number of books per class and made you read selected chapters (basically, the ones that mattered). Like textbooks, how-to books are dull, long-winded, and difficult to use - especially if some stubborn part of your psyche hates writing to someone else's tune.
But amidst the "blah-blah-blah" of useless drivel are vital nuggets of wisdom which can aid you in the long-term writing game. The bitch is that you've gotta find them.
Every how-to writer has a different opinion on the how. And I've yet to find an "Idiot's Guide" or an "All You'll Ever Need to Know . . ." book with all the answers. You're probably better off camping out at your local library and/or compiling assorted wisdom from free articles/blogs on-line. However, if you have money to throw away, I urge you to buy how-to books and keep them close. Try to skim through the dull things, learn what you can, and apply their jigsaw wisdom.
And if you're crazy enough to self-publish (like me), you really should explore how-to books related to non-writing fields: like how to incorporate, run a small business or do online marketing. Also, consider how-to books which indirectly cover the writing process. I've got books on forensics, character names, screenwriting, and even blogging (none of which I've fully read yet). Yeah, I could go online and pull up neat little articles on these topics.
But at the end of the day, entire books trump little articles. And having that knowledge at your fingertips is just plain smart.
Hope this was of use.
Monday, October 10, 2011
November's A-Comin'
Yeah, I know that November's a bit less than a month away. But for anyone up for writing a novel, November's that golden time.
That's right, boys and girls! We're a couple of weeks away from National Novel Writing Month! Basically, the contest is about spewing forth a 50,000-word book in under a month (it can be done, by the way). Why am I writing this in October? Simple: to give you time to prep.
Anyone interested in trying this should (in my humble opinion) order a book called "No Plot? No Problem!" from Amazon.com. I found a copy at a Borders once (sniff) and that's how I heard about this contest. Again, you CAN write a 50,000-word piece in 30 days. BUT, you have to prep, write, and free up a lotta time. The book helps with suggestions (like how to deal with kids, get around hectic schedules, etc.).
For those of you too broke/skeptical to order said book, there's a site (see link below) with plenty of tips and suggestions on how to write your crappy first draft. It also contains the entry rules, for those of you who want to officially enter.
But imagine the thrill of knocking down the rough draft of a novel. Then you can spend real time revising and polishing it into something worthy. To those of you who've actually tried to write a novel the long way (planning out a plot, designing characters, theme, blahblahblah), you should realize how refreshing it would be to just kamikaze the first draft.
Hit the link below for details.
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3699214
Hope this was of use.
That's right, boys and girls! We're a couple of weeks away from National Novel Writing Month! Basically, the contest is about spewing forth a 50,000-word book in under a month (it can be done, by the way). Why am I writing this in October? Simple: to give you time to prep.
Anyone interested in trying this should (in my humble opinion) order a book called "No Plot? No Problem!" from Amazon.com. I found a copy at a Borders once (sniff) and that's how I heard about this contest. Again, you CAN write a 50,000-word piece in 30 days. BUT, you have to prep, write, and free up a lotta time. The book helps with suggestions (like how to deal with kids, get around hectic schedules, etc.).
For those of you too broke/skeptical to order said book, there's a site (see link below) with plenty of tips and suggestions on how to write your crappy first draft. It also contains the entry rules, for those of you who want to officially enter.
But imagine the thrill of knocking down the rough draft of a novel. Then you can spend real time revising and polishing it into something worthy. To those of you who've actually tried to write a novel the long way (planning out a plot, designing characters, theme, blahblahblah), you should realize how refreshing it would be to just kamikaze the first draft.
Hit the link below for details.
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3699214
Hope this was of use.
Monday, October 3, 2011
I like the new upgrades for Blogger.com! I especially like the part where you can more easily insert story prose without the mutated blog formatting. Below's a sample writing prompt I put down some 2 weeks ago. Limited to 500 words, it had to involve finding a note behind a mirror.
While the prompt was odd, the stuff I wrote off it was kinda' cool. Lemme know what you think of this one:
THE DROP
"Found it," Mulsane muttered as he pulled a taped envelope from behind the antique mirror. From across the street, Brooks and Miller tensely waited in the front of our unassuming black Volvo. Their eyes were trained on the small antique shop and Peter Mulsane. Dressed in casual fall attire, he carried a blue backpack with $12 million in precious stones inside. Handsome and rich, the fourth-generation millionaire hoped to trade them for his pregnant wife's safe return.
Visible through the front windows of the shop, the brave-slash-stupid husband was reading the note and about to give us directions to the next leg of this operation. We wired him for sound and planted three GPS trackers on his person, in case we got separated. At present, he had led us to four different locations. Each had a note stashed and directions to the next spot.
It was a classic technique of kidnappers who wanted to collect their money without getting arrested. Our job was to shadow him, make sure the money was delivered, and see to it that Helen Mulsane – the hostage – didn't end up dead. She was probably taken by intelligent amateurs. Pros would've taken Mulsane and made him wire the damned money. See, $12 million in stones could be tracked. In the six hours it took for Mulsane to collect the stones, me and my guys paid a visit to the local fences in this town.
We explained to them that we weren't cops. Oh no. We were freelance "troubleshooters" tasked to resolve this matter. And, if the kidnappers showed up with stones to sell, they'd get paid a reward if we were called. Then, our guns came out. Some fences watched their bodyguards die. The ones who worked alone simply yelped when we drove them to the floor and put our guns in their faces.
In the end, they understood what would happen if they f*cked us.
Right now, I wasn't really interested in Mr. Mulsane's little quest. My partners would watch him like hungry hawks. Me? I took in the background. During ransom drops, it was always good to have a set of eyes taking in the folks on the street. I ignored the sunny day, the crowded San Francisco street, and the hundred-or-so pedestrians strolling about. No, I was simply looking for anyone or anything that stood out.
Why bother?
Because the kidnappers might try and gun us down while we followed Peter Mulsane. They might try to jack him in mid-delivery. In some countries, this would be the part where local (f*cking corrupt) cops would storm in and try to steal the damned ransom.
But so far, everything looked blasé.
Visible through the front windows of the shop, the brave-slash-stupid husband was reading the note and about to give us directions to the next leg of this operation. We wired him for sound and planted three GPS trackers on his person, in case we got separated. At present, he had led us to four different locations. Each had a note stashed and directions to the next spot.
It was a classic technique of kidnappers who wanted to collect their money without getting arrested. Our job was to shadow him, make sure the money was delivered, and see to it that Helen Mulsane – the hostage – didn't end up dead. She was probably taken by intelligent amateurs. Pros would've taken Mulsane and made him wire the damned money. See, $12 million in stones could be tracked. In the six hours it took for Mulsane to collect the stones, me and my guys paid a visit to the local fences in this town.
We explained to them that we weren't cops. Oh no. We were freelance "troubleshooters" tasked to resolve this matter. And, if the kidnappers showed up with stones to sell, they'd get paid a reward if we were called. Then, our guns came out. Some fences watched their bodyguards die. The ones who worked alone simply yelped when we drove them to the floor and put our guns in their faces.
In the end, they understood what would happen if they f*cked us.
Right now, I wasn't really interested in Mr. Mulsane's little quest. My partners would watch him like hungry hawks. Me? I took in the background. During ransom drops, it was always good to have a set of eyes taking in the folks on the street. I ignored the sunny day, the crowded San Francisco street, and the hundred-or-so pedestrians strolling about. No, I was simply looking for anyone or anything that stood out.
Why bother?
Because the kidnappers might try and gun us down while we followed Peter Mulsane. They might try to jack him in mid-delivery. In some countries, this would be the part where local (f*cking corrupt) cops would storm in and try to steal the damned ransom.
But so far, everything looked blasé.
"It says to take the diamonds and leave them out back," Mulsane announced, some excitement in his voice.
We swapped glances.
There was probably an alley behind this block of shops.
Recon would be a bitch.
Ambushes would be child's play.
"Anything else?" Brooks asked into his sleeve-mounted transmitter.
"No," Mulsane's voice replied.
We swapped glances.
There was probably an alley behind this block of shops.
Recon would be a bitch.
Ambushes would be child's play.
"Anything else?" Brooks asked into his sleeve-mounted transmitter.
"No," Mulsane's voice replied.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
POLISHING TIPS
Sorry folks,
I've been too bit busy with Collection #2 to post like I'd prefer. With any luck, it should be done and in the can on schedule (11/13/11).
For this post, I thought I'd write about the act of polishing. What is "polishing"? It's that phase in the editorial process where you make your piece less sucky. Let's face it folks, when that first draft's done, it's got holes in it. You won't see them in the beginning, but they're there. You can't just run it through the spell-checker and send it off to a publisher. If you do, they'll think of you as an unworthy amateur.
Remember: your story only has one chance to make that solid first impression. So, "polish" your work like a rough-cut jewel until it glistens. Set the piece aside for a while, then read through it and fix whatever you spot as wrong. Maybe your main character's dialogue is off. Or you mix past and present tenses within your story. Hell, you might realize that it's hopelessly awful and decide to start over. But by going through this godawful process, your work becomes better and so do your writing chops. When you feel it's ready, THEN you shoot for publication . . . and hope you're right.
With that in mind, here are some tips that I hope you'll find to be useful:
1.) I read through and polish my stuff (at least) three times before I send it off to my editor. And after he's looked at it for the first time (and given me critiques), I'll polish it a few more times before I send it back to him again for a final polish. Usually, a story goes to him at least twice before it gets locked into any book I do.
2.) I'll put (at least) one day between polishes. Never polish a story, take a quick break, and then polish it again. You'll always get better results if you look over a story with "refreshed" eyes. Step away from it and do something else. And when you get back to the story, you'll almost always see ways to make it better. Don't rush it. If a piece isn't ready, then it's not ready. Polish it up and make it ready, however long it takes.
3.) Read it aloud (preferably alone). I can't stress the importance of this one tip. You'll spot more screw-ups reading a story aloud than you will just by reading it. You'll pick up on weak dialogue, grammatical goofs, logical flaws, etc. Yeah, it's weird. But I'm right on this. Don't believe me? Pick up something you've just written and read it aloud. You'll end up a believer.
4.) Become an expert in the trivial. The more stuff you know, the more stuff you can add into your writing. For example, you could write a story scene about a guy getting hit by a big black SUV. Or you can write a story scene about that same guy getting hit by a black, 6,500-pound 2011 Durango with a V8 engine. Which is better? Yes, some pieces can have a minimalistic lack of detail. But others just shouldn't. And, of course, check your facts. Read books, surf the 'Net, and don't isolate your mind just because you're writing a book.
5.) Details matter. How much or how little you want to put down in a story's up to you. I've seen extremes in both. Whenever there's a story with too much detail, I just skim through it. It's the ones with too little detail that make me grind my teeth, because they don't give you enough of a picture to fully understand the piece. So please, when polishing, make sure that someone who reads your work for the first time can understand CLEARLY what you're trying to say. Give them a detailed, high-def colored window into your story.
Hope this is of use.
I've been too bit busy with Collection #2 to post like I'd prefer. With any luck, it should be done and in the can on schedule (11/13/11).
For this post, I thought I'd write about the act of polishing. What is "polishing"? It's that phase in the editorial process where you make your piece less sucky. Let's face it folks, when that first draft's done, it's got holes in it. You won't see them in the beginning, but they're there. You can't just run it through the spell-checker and send it off to a publisher. If you do, they'll think of you as an unworthy amateur.
Remember: your story only has one chance to make that solid first impression. So, "polish" your work like a rough-cut jewel until it glistens. Set the piece aside for a while, then read through it and fix whatever you spot as wrong. Maybe your main character's dialogue is off. Or you mix past and present tenses within your story. Hell, you might realize that it's hopelessly awful and decide to start over. But by going through this godawful process, your work becomes better and so do your writing chops. When you feel it's ready, THEN you shoot for publication . . . and hope you're right.
With that in mind, here are some tips that I hope you'll find to be useful:
1.) I read through and polish my stuff (at least) three times before I send it off to my editor. And after he's looked at it for the first time (and given me critiques), I'll polish it a few more times before I send it back to him again for a final polish. Usually, a story goes to him at least twice before it gets locked into any book I do.
2.) I'll put (at least) one day between polishes. Never polish a story, take a quick break, and then polish it again. You'll always get better results if you look over a story with "refreshed" eyes. Step away from it and do something else. And when you get back to the story, you'll almost always see ways to make it better. Don't rush it. If a piece isn't ready, then it's not ready. Polish it up and make it ready, however long it takes.
3.) Read it aloud (preferably alone). I can't stress the importance of this one tip. You'll spot more screw-ups reading a story aloud than you will just by reading it. You'll pick up on weak dialogue, grammatical goofs, logical flaws, etc. Yeah, it's weird. But I'm right on this. Don't believe me? Pick up something you've just written and read it aloud. You'll end up a believer.
4.) Become an expert in the trivial. The more stuff you know, the more stuff you can add into your writing. For example, you could write a story scene about a guy getting hit by a big black SUV. Or you can write a story scene about that same guy getting hit by a black, 6,500-pound 2011 Durango with a V8 engine. Which is better? Yes, some pieces can have a minimalistic lack of detail. But others just shouldn't. And, of course, check your facts. Read books, surf the 'Net, and don't isolate your mind just because you're writing a book.
5.) Details matter. How much or how little you want to put down in a story's up to you. I've seen extremes in both. Whenever there's a story with too much detail, I just skim through it. It's the ones with too little detail that make me grind my teeth, because they don't give you enough of a picture to fully understand the piece. So please, when polishing, make sure that someone who reads your work for the first time can understand CLEARLY what you're trying to say. Give them a detailed, high-def colored window into your story.
Hope this is of use.
Chris Guillebeau's site is worth a peek
Think of Chris G. as an atypical thinker with outside-of-the-box ideas for dealing with life. He's also got an incurable case of wanderlust. I subscribed to his mailing list back in December. And while I don't read all of his posts, a few catch my eye from time to time (like the two below):
This link has a plain, simple, straightforward way to make a buck as a consultant. I found it strangely tempting:
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/the-instant-consultant/
This link has an interesting suggestion on how to write 300,000 words per year:
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/how-to-write-300000-words-in-1-year/
This link has a plain, simple, straightforward way to make a buck as a consultant. I found it strangely tempting:
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/the-instant-consultant/
This link has an interesting suggestion on how to write 300,000 words per year:
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/how-to-write-300000-words-in-1-year/
Sunday, September 18, 2011
KEIKO FUKUDA
Pursuing one's life dream can be a lonely, difficult, and scary thing at times. It can also be the most wonderful aspect of living, especially whenever a dream's goals/plateaus are reached. Below is a link to a story about Keiko Fukuda, a lady from Japan who spent 51 years living hand-in-hand with her dream.
Hope you find it as inspirational as I have . . .
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2025064/Judo-master-Keiko-Fukuda-98-woman-earn-highest-level-black-belt.html
Hope you find it as inspirational as I have . . .
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2025064/Judo-master-Keiko-Fukuda-98-woman-earn-highest-level-black-belt.html
Saturday, September 3, 2011
WASTED TIME
When I was a kid, I lived for the big holidays. Labor Day, for example, was that last bout of fun and BBQ before the tedium of school. I don't recall any exceptionally funky Labor Days, but they were all one less Monday worth of work. This made holidays all right with me.
And then I grew up.
Know what Labor Day does to me now? The same thing other paid holidays do to me. As a quasi-hermetic writer, I wanna take advantage of the free time, stay home, and write something new and twisted. I run from dawn-to-dark throughout a typical week, barely able to write/polish more than 3 or 4 hours a day (on a good day). The idea of having Saturday-to-Monday pretty much to myself is SOOOO appealing, because it's mostly free time. I should be writing stories by the bushel, right?
Nope.
It's 4:14pm on Saturday the 3rd. I wrapped my daily chores about 4 hours ago. Between then and now, I've done diddly. And I feel guilty about it. Like I'm loafin' or something. I wanna catch up on my sleep, watch movies, and have fun. And you know what? I'm gonna.
This is the feeling you wanna have someday. It means that you've chased your dream so far that it's actually hard to stop and be a "civilian" for three measily days. Yeah, they're three days of your life that you won't get back. And if you haven't written anything in weeks/longer, maybe this is an opportunity to get back into the groove. But for you fellow workaholics out there . . . I say break into your bank accounts and have a little fun this weekend (I say this as I'm about to pay for some cover art)!!!!!!
Writers write. It's what we do.
Just don't forget to smell the roses/ribs/whatever once in a while.
Have a nice Labor Day!
'Til next week . . .
And then I grew up.
Know what Labor Day does to me now? The same thing other paid holidays do to me. As a quasi-hermetic writer, I wanna take advantage of the free time, stay home, and write something new and twisted. I run from dawn-to-dark throughout a typical week, barely able to write/polish more than 3 or 4 hours a day (on a good day). The idea of having Saturday-to-Monday pretty much to myself is SOOOO appealing, because it's mostly free time. I should be writing stories by the bushel, right?
Nope.
It's 4:14pm on Saturday the 3rd. I wrapped my daily chores about 4 hours ago. Between then and now, I've done diddly. And I feel guilty about it. Like I'm loafin' or something. I wanna catch up on my sleep, watch movies, and have fun. And you know what? I'm gonna.
This is the feeling you wanna have someday. It means that you've chased your dream so far that it's actually hard to stop and be a "civilian" for three measily days. Yeah, they're three days of your life that you won't get back. And if you haven't written anything in weeks/longer, maybe this is an opportunity to get back into the groove. But for you fellow workaholics out there . . . I say break into your bank accounts and have a little fun this weekend (I say this as I'm about to pay for some cover art)!!!!!!
Writers write. It's what we do.
Just don't forget to smell the roses/ribs/whatever once in a while.
Have a nice Labor Day!
'Til next week . . .
Friday, August 26, 2011
A FEW DOZEN-PLUS WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR WRITING
My advice of the week's to get a subscription to the Writer's Digest website. They send some pretty funky stuff, from time-to-time. A good example of their wares is in the link below:
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/25-ways-to-improve-your-writing-in-30-minutes-a-day?et_mid=515765&rid=191148924
Anyone interested in subscribing can use the above link to do so. These 25 tips are actually worth considering.
Hope it's of use.
http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/25-ways-to-improve-your-writing-in-30-minutes-a-day?et_mid=515765&rid=191148924
Anyone interested in subscribing can use the above link to do so. These 25 tips are actually worth considering.
Hope it's of use.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
WHEN'S THE BEST TIME TO WRITE?
When's the best time to write?
The short answer: any chance you get.
Me? I do my best thinking/writing in the morning. But my life's too jammed/chaotic to be picky. So I just write whenever I can. After all, you need raw clay mold into a polished masterpiece. If you wait to be at your best mindset to write a story/poem/book, it'll take years (or never) to get done.
Just start writing and don't stop. Write at least a few paragraphs per day and make sure you're thinking ahead, so you don't paint yourself in a corner. It's amazing what such incremental efforts can yield.
To assist you in your work, avail yourself of the classic secret weapons of the modern writer: music,
self-imposed deadlines, waking up an hour too early, and a notebook computer (which allows me to write
during breaks or whenever I hate writing at home).
The short answer: any chance you get.
Me? I do my best thinking/writing in the morning. But my life's too jammed/chaotic to be picky. So I just write whenever I can. After all, you need raw clay mold into a polished masterpiece. If you wait to be at your best mindset to write a story/poem/book, it'll take years (or never) to get done.
Just start writing and don't stop. Write at least a few paragraphs per day and make sure you're thinking ahead, so you don't paint yourself in a corner. It's amazing what such incremental efforts can yield.
Writing in short, exhausted bursts won't
yield me gems every time. But who
cares? In the morning I can polish/edit
it and figure out where to direct a plot.
Just remember: save everything you write. Even if it's a failed effort. It might be useful for something else down the road.
Just remember: save everything you write. Even if it's a failed effort. It might be useful for something else down the road.
Hope this was of use.
The main key is not to stop.
If you stop, even for a day, you could lose the flow, get bored, and
waste time. Hope this helps.
Friday, August 12, 2011
TIPS ON WRITING A NOVEL -
For those of you who hate "How-To Write A Novel" books, I found a lady on YouTube (Martha Alderson) who did a multi-part chat on how to put one together. Maybe someone out there will find it to be useful.
http://youtu.be/ESfT2Lh1cWo
http://youtu.be/ESfT2Lh1cWo
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
MY EULOGY TO BORDERS
It's like watching a good friend die a slow, painful death.
A bastion of knowledge, entertainment, and friggin' civilization is about to go the way of the T-Rex. In case you didn't know, Borders Books is going out of business. This past Saturday, I went to my nearby Borders store and indulged in one last book-buying spree. The books were getting fewer and fewer by the day, with no fresh ones to replace them. Their overpriced-coffee station had already been taken apart and closed. Even more depressing was that I found more interesting books than I could afford to buy.
It's depressing to get cut off from a such a useful source of entertainment and/or information. Yeah, there are libraries, e-readers, and Amazon.com . . . but who cares? There's something simple and relaxing about plunging into a jungle of book shelves to hunt for a worthy book or two. I've bought hundreds of books from Borders over the years and enjoyed doing so.
Guess I'll have to adapt. 'Cause Barnes & Noble can kiss my a$$. I might browse their shelves but I'll never shop there again. "Helping" a huge competitor (like Borders) out of business is one thing. But to let all of those branches shut down's just wrong. Borders didn't do it to Walden Books. And maybe it was just a matter of bottom-line profits and feasibility. But bookstores are like churches to me. And these literary "cathedrals" are all on fire as I type. What a waste.
But hey, that's life.
So, I'll hunt for sites that spout out new releases (bye-bye Borders' "New Releases" stack).
I'll go on-line and look for nice books I've never heard of (versus the triumph at finding something good in the horror aisle).
And I'll keep a positive attitude about this transitional nature of the publishing business (sniff).
The one silver lining to this nightmare's that it makes you appreciate what's around you. I could expand that to people, but I'm no stranger to that kind of loss. I am a stranger to seeing a cool institution/business just fade away. Imagine a world without Blockbusters stores and you'll . . . wait, never mind.
Ahem: imagine a world without movie theatres. Seems impossible. But with Netflix and the rising costs of movies/snacks, such a notion seems sadly plausible. I've seen a few theaters close or change hands multiple times.
Look around you and wonder . . . what could become obsolete some day? If it's something you like, something vulnerable to changing times, enjoy it while you can and don't take it for granted. It could be gone next month.
Adios, readers.
Adios, old Friend.
A bastion of knowledge, entertainment, and friggin' civilization is about to go the way of the T-Rex. In case you didn't know, Borders Books is going out of business. This past Saturday, I went to my nearby Borders store and indulged in one last book-buying spree. The books were getting fewer and fewer by the day, with no fresh ones to replace them. Their overpriced-coffee station had already been taken apart and closed. Even more depressing was that I found more interesting books than I could afford to buy.
It's depressing to get cut off from a such a useful source of entertainment and/or information. Yeah, there are libraries, e-readers, and Amazon.com . . . but who cares? There's something simple and relaxing about plunging into a jungle of book shelves to hunt for a worthy book or two. I've bought hundreds of books from Borders over the years and enjoyed doing so.
Guess I'll have to adapt. 'Cause Barnes & Noble can kiss my a$$. I might browse their shelves but I'll never shop there again. "Helping" a huge competitor (like Borders) out of business is one thing. But to let all of those branches shut down's just wrong. Borders didn't do it to Walden Books. And maybe it was just a matter of bottom-line profits and feasibility. But bookstores are like churches to me. And these literary "cathedrals" are all on fire as I type. What a waste.
But hey, that's life.
So, I'll hunt for sites that spout out new releases (bye-bye Borders' "New Releases" stack).
I'll go on-line and look for nice books I've never heard of (versus the triumph at finding something good in the horror aisle).
And I'll keep a positive attitude about this transitional nature of the publishing business (sniff).
The one silver lining to this nightmare's that it makes you appreciate what's around you. I could expand that to people, but I'm no stranger to that kind of loss. I am a stranger to seeing a cool institution/business just fade away. Imagine a world without Blockbusters stores and you'll . . . wait, never mind.
Ahem: imagine a world without movie theatres. Seems impossible. But with Netflix and the rising costs of movies/snacks, such a notion seems sadly plausible. I've seen a few theaters close or change hands multiple times.
Look around you and wonder . . . what could become obsolete some day? If it's something you like, something vulnerable to changing times, enjoy it while you can and don't take it for granted. It could be gone next month.
Adios, readers.
Adios, old Friend.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
ANYTHING'S A STORY
When you're stumped for a great idea to write about, lock your creative focus around ONE single, solitary thing. It can be concrete (like a birdhouse) or abstract (like insanity). Then, build a brief mental summary around that one thing. Think of where the story begins, gets interesting, and (if possible) how it ends.
Then you just sit down and write the f*cker.
Beginning
For example, imagine you're a little kid moving into a quaint suburban home. Your mom notices a birdhouse hanging from a tree in the backyard, gives you some bread crumbs, and has you load it up. She has a thing for birds. You think they poop too much. Anyway, you do as she says and notice something shiny inside of the birdhouse's round entrance.
Interesting
You pull out a small black remote control with a tiny red button. When you press it, a section of the backyard slides open to reveal a flight of descending steps. Stupid and curious, you check it out and stumble upon a secret lair. Apparently, the previous owner was a super hero who went missing months ago. But all of his toys are just lying around . . . begging to be used.
End
You and your idiot friends save the hero, stop the villain, and maybe even save the world. The hero, impressed by your luck/grit/genius, offers to train you all as sidekicks.
All of that came out of a friggin' birdhouse. If you have a wicked imagination and something to focus it upon, there's no telling where you can go wtih an idea. This little technique is similar to a writing prompt, but not quite as restrained.
Okay, now for an abstract idea.
Beginning
You're driving from a party. While you've had a few drinks, you're not drunk. Still, your brakes are crap, the road you're on is wet, and your big car slams into a compact and kills four innocent people. You pass the breathalyzer test (barely) and the whole thing's deemed an accident. While you feel bad about what happened, you don't think it's your fault. It's just an act of God. As you leave the courtroom, the elder sister of one of the victims warns you that you're gonna pay.
Interesting
A week or two, you're off to work, minding your own business, and folks start giving you evil looks. You notice it when you get your coffee, board the subway, and sit in your cubicle. By the end of the first day, even your best buds at work are inexplicably mad at you . . . and barely hold it back. On your way home, folks start attacking you. At first, it's one or two people. But then it turns into an angry mob. Even the cops are shooting at you. After a few failed attempts at getting help, you hide out in an isolated area.
You can still safely contact people by phone/e-mail. But person-to-person contact makes those around you downright hostile toward you. Then, one day, the elder sister contacts you and tells you that she's leveled an "insanity" curse upon you.
Anyone you're around will hear "voices" telling them to kill you. The longer you're around people, the more persuasive those "voices" get. In time, even your own mother would kill you. If you get away from someone affected by this insanity curse, they'll be fine in about a day's time . . . and forget ever trying to kill you. When you ask her why she did it, she hatefully explains that those four victims meant everything to her. By killing them, you condemned her to a painful life of solitude. She's merely returning the favor.
End
Fast-forward a few decades and picture yourself as a lonely old man in a remote cabin. You invite a reporter to stop by and record your story. And as you tell the reporter about those terrible days, you wait for the reporter to go berserk and kill you ('cause you want to die). But nothing happens. The reporter laughs off your story and leaves. You ask around and learn that the witch undid the curse years ago, while on her deathbed (but never told you).
Now that's messed up. And I spent all of twenty minutes spitting this concept up, just by putting a slant on insanity.
Pick something average, ordinary, and boring. Then make it different, twisted, and part of greater whole.
Adios.
Then you just sit down and write the f*cker.
Beginning
For example, imagine you're a little kid moving into a quaint suburban home. Your mom notices a birdhouse hanging from a tree in the backyard, gives you some bread crumbs, and has you load it up. She has a thing for birds. You think they poop too much. Anyway, you do as she says and notice something shiny inside of the birdhouse's round entrance.
Interesting
You pull out a small black remote control with a tiny red button. When you press it, a section of the backyard slides open to reveal a flight of descending steps. Stupid and curious, you check it out and stumble upon a secret lair. Apparently, the previous owner was a super hero who went missing months ago. But all of his toys are just lying around . . . begging to be used.
End
You and your idiot friends save the hero, stop the villain, and maybe even save the world. The hero, impressed by your luck/grit/genius, offers to train you all as sidekicks.
All of that came out of a friggin' birdhouse. If you have a wicked imagination and something to focus it upon, there's no telling where you can go wtih an idea. This little technique is similar to a writing prompt, but not quite as restrained.
Okay, now for an abstract idea.
Beginning
You're driving from a party. While you've had a few drinks, you're not drunk. Still, your brakes are crap, the road you're on is wet, and your big car slams into a compact and kills four innocent people. You pass the breathalyzer test (barely) and the whole thing's deemed an accident. While you feel bad about what happened, you don't think it's your fault. It's just an act of God. As you leave the courtroom, the elder sister of one of the victims warns you that you're gonna pay.
Interesting
A week or two, you're off to work, minding your own business, and folks start giving you evil looks. You notice it when you get your coffee, board the subway, and sit in your cubicle. By the end of the first day, even your best buds at work are inexplicably mad at you . . . and barely hold it back. On your way home, folks start attacking you. At first, it's one or two people. But then it turns into an angry mob. Even the cops are shooting at you. After a few failed attempts at getting help, you hide out in an isolated area.
You can still safely contact people by phone/e-mail. But person-to-person contact makes those around you downright hostile toward you. Then, one day, the elder sister contacts you and tells you that she's leveled an "insanity" curse upon you.
Anyone you're around will hear "voices" telling them to kill you. The longer you're around people, the more persuasive those "voices" get. In time, even your own mother would kill you. If you get away from someone affected by this insanity curse, they'll be fine in about a day's time . . . and forget ever trying to kill you. When you ask her why she did it, she hatefully explains that those four victims meant everything to her. By killing them, you condemned her to a painful life of solitude. She's merely returning the favor.
End
Fast-forward a few decades and picture yourself as a lonely old man in a remote cabin. You invite a reporter to stop by and record your story. And as you tell the reporter about those terrible days, you wait for the reporter to go berserk and kill you ('cause you want to die). But nothing happens. The reporter laughs off your story and leaves. You ask around and learn that the witch undid the curse years ago, while on her deathbed (but never told you).
Now that's messed up. And I spent all of twenty minutes spitting this concept up, just by putting a slant on insanity.
Pick something average, ordinary, and boring. Then make it different, twisted, and part of greater whole.
Adios.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
TWO HAPPY TIMES
Aside from these days, when I'm living my dream, my happiest days of life would probably have been in college. While I liked to have fun, I wasn't much of a drunken party animal. I actually hated beer and hadn't yet discovered the magical elixir which we mortals call "mixed drinks". So, I'd simply swill cans of Coke/Dr. Pepper, mingle, and be weird. In general, John Carroll University (my alma mater) was NOT a party school. Oh they tried. But it just wasn't that kind of place.
What made JCU so awesome for me? I lived on campus. Through crappy cafeteria meals, cramped dorm rooms, broke-assed weekeneds, and funky Ohio weather, I chilled out with tens of thousands of people. And it was awesome! Yes, there were some pricks amonst them. But overall, the students were pretty cool to me. My nerdy, introverted self chilled out with people from different social cliques, ethnicities, and world views. I even met some like-minded weirdos, some of whom became the best of friends. While I wrote a teensy bit back then, I was too busy learning and living.
Then came graduation, two-plus miserable years of grad school, backstabbing "friends", student loans, and temp jobs which paid far too little. That gruelling "survival" thing beat the living shit out of my innocence and left me kind of . . . numb. I looked ahead and realized that all of that "happily ever crap" were just damned lies that societies tell their young. And all I was doing was limping along.
Luckily, I had a computer. It was a gift from my Uncle Nate, just after I picked up my nigh-useless Masters degree. He (and some anonymous family members) sent it my way, thinking I could pursue some kind of IT degree/training. While I looked every part of the techno-geek, I didn't have the chops for it. Instead, in my deepest most miserable stretch of life (since high school, anyway), I booted up that computer and started writing again.
I've gone through . . . four computers, since then. Just used 'em up and spat them out. If I five bucks for every word I typed since '97, I could buy a yacht or two. At first, the words were rough and raw. I hadn't taken it seriously since I was a bored little kid. And while the years to follow didn't get much better, my writing sure as hell did.
It's funny. Somewhere in my mid-thirties, I looked around and realized that I didn't want to do anything else. Grow a career? Not really? Marriage? Hell no! Kids? Maybe after a frontal lobotomy. In essence, I've painted myself into a corner. It's sort of . . . "make it as a writer or bust".
So, those are the two happiest times of my life: college and now. Are there similarities? Yep. I still mingle with all types of different folks. I still live, learn, and have some (shreds of) hope that my life story has a decent ending. And Ohio weather still sucks. Are there differences? Oh yes. I'm older, heavier, and wiser.
But most importantly, collegiate bliss only lasts 4 years. Writing, if you love it, can give you a lifetime of creative triumphs and the thrill of creating something today that was only an idea yesterday.
So if you're snugly in your writing phase, stay there. It's more real than a college phase, a partying 20-something phase, or even a carrot-cake-at-Friday's phase (don't ask). Hone your chops. Devote years to it. Never stop for more than two weeks at a time (seriously). And then, when you're ready, share it with a grateful world . . . and (I suspect) you'll be happy while you're doing it.
And, to bastardize a line from Conan the Barbarian (the good one):
"There's nothing in this world you can trust.
Not men.
Not women.
Not beasts.
But WRITING?
THIS you can trust!"
What made JCU so awesome for me? I lived on campus. Through crappy cafeteria meals, cramped dorm rooms, broke-assed weekeneds, and funky Ohio weather, I chilled out with tens of thousands of people. And it was awesome! Yes, there were some pricks amonst them. But overall, the students were pretty cool to me. My nerdy, introverted self chilled out with people from different social cliques, ethnicities, and world views. I even met some like-minded weirdos, some of whom became the best of friends. While I wrote a teensy bit back then, I was too busy learning and living.
Then came graduation, two-plus miserable years of grad school, backstabbing "friends", student loans, and temp jobs which paid far too little. That gruelling "survival" thing beat the living shit out of my innocence and left me kind of . . . numb. I looked ahead and realized that all of that "happily ever crap" were just damned lies that societies tell their young. And all I was doing was limping along.
Luckily, I had a computer. It was a gift from my Uncle Nate, just after I picked up my nigh-useless Masters degree. He (and some anonymous family members) sent it my way, thinking I could pursue some kind of IT degree/training. While I looked every part of the techno-geek, I didn't have the chops for it. Instead, in my deepest most miserable stretch of life (since high school, anyway), I booted up that computer and started writing again.
I've gone through . . . four computers, since then. Just used 'em up and spat them out. If I five bucks for every word I typed since '97, I could buy a yacht or two. At first, the words were rough and raw. I hadn't taken it seriously since I was a bored little kid. And while the years to follow didn't get much better, my writing sure as hell did.
It's funny. Somewhere in my mid-thirties, I looked around and realized that I didn't want to do anything else. Grow a career? Not really? Marriage? Hell no! Kids? Maybe after a frontal lobotomy. In essence, I've painted myself into a corner. It's sort of . . . "make it as a writer or bust".
So, those are the two happiest times of my life: college and now. Are there similarities? Yep. I still mingle with all types of different folks. I still live, learn, and have some (shreds of) hope that my life story has a decent ending. And Ohio weather still sucks. Are there differences? Oh yes. I'm older, heavier, and wiser.
But most importantly, collegiate bliss only lasts 4 years. Writing, if you love it, can give you a lifetime of creative triumphs and the thrill of creating something today that was only an idea yesterday.
So if you're snugly in your writing phase, stay there. It's more real than a college phase, a partying 20-something phase, or even a carrot-cake-at-Friday's phase (don't ask). Hone your chops. Devote years to it. Never stop for more than two weeks at a time (seriously). And then, when you're ready, share it with a grateful world . . . and (I suspect) you'll be happy while you're doing it.
And, to bastardize a line from Conan the Barbarian (the good one):
"There's nothing in this world you can trust.
Not men.
Not women.
Not beasts.
But WRITING?
THIS you can trust!"
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
THE PERILS OF CREATIVE PARALYSIS
There oughta' be a Surgeon General's Warning branded onto the brain of any writer with a hyper, warped, creative mind. If your mind's anything like this (mine is), it's full of so many goddamned ideas that you sometimes wonder if you're sane. The creative tornado in my skull's one of the reasons I must write. If I could draw beyond stick figures, I'd do art. If I could carry a tune, I'd do songs (and make millions doing hard-core gangster polka). Had I been trained to be master thief, I'd probably plan schemes by the dozens.
But thankfully, my Muse happens to involve writing.
Now, we've all heard of "writer's block". That's when you sit down and try to write something and nothing comes out. The torturous process of squeezing a story out of your brain's like trying to wring out a mostly-dried towel. Know what I think of you folks with this dilemma? I envy you. Me? I'm the opposite. I've thought of five good blog topics in the last half-hour and was so annoyed with myself that I decided to write this one. It's like having a swarm of garbage flies in my head and I'm unable to get anything done, due to their distracting nature.
Maybe there's a scientific/literary term for this. Maybe not. I'm gonna go in an odd direction and call this phenomenon "Creative Paralysis". The most devastating thing about Creative Paralysis is that it's made me waste so much time trying to figure out which idea to run with that . . . I end up doing nothing. Ever have that happen? You've got 10 ideas for a story and none of them jump to the front of the line, so you end up writing zilch? It's why I do short stories better than books or screenplays. I can "swat" these ideas in my head - one-by-one - much faster with shorter tales.
It's annoying, believe you me!
So, how do you get past Creative Paralysis and get something done?
Here are 2 suggestions:
#1 - Set yourself a span of time (say, having a new short story/chapter/poem done every 4 days). Then go about your day and see what mad ideas scream out at you. Have a scrap piece of paper and a pen handy. Give each idea a story title. And before you go to bed on Day 1, pick one. No matter what "better" ideas assault you over the next 4 days, (try to) stick with that one. No matter how crappy that chosen idea is, finish it off by the 4th day. You can always tweak it later. One idea on paper beats nineteen concepts in your head. If a newer, better, idea hits you like a school bus . . . jot it down and use it on the next 4-day cycle.
#2 - Go with your gut and wait for an idea to jump to the front of the line. If you have nothing but time and inclination, just wait. Don't pick up a pen or paper. Let the ideas compete for your attention. Some will stick (because they're that good). Some you'll actually forget (which is kind of embarrassing at times). But when a great idea jumps out of the murky depths, you must strike! Work on it like the world's at stake. Don't mess with any other project 'til that one's done. Devote yourself to it like a new lover.
I've done both, with satisfying results. Before I published "Unheroic", I used Suggestion #2. I'd jump on a story idea with a lusty smile, finish her off, and move on to the next one. If you can keep your life reasonably uncluttered, you could create dozens of strong-concept stories within a year. Don't force it. Stop whenever you feel burned out. But don't stray away from it or you'll lose that flow.
But now that I'm a "writer-businessman", I've gotta wear a lot of hats. So, while I'm selling "Unheroic", I've also gotta write up X amount of new pieces for future works. That requires me to use Suggestion #1. Between my editor and I, any crappy first draft I make can be turned into a masterpiece: given time and rewriting.
Which one do I prefer? Suggestion #2, of course. That's how I whipped up over 1,000 pages worth of short stories in about 3 years. But now, I'm no longer just a writer with an open schedule, a laptop, and a comfy couch. I've got a teensy little company to run and dozens of books to set up. Planning requires Suggestion #1.
Sorry this post is so long. But Creative Paralysis bothers me.
Hope it helps any sufferers out there.
But thankfully, my Muse happens to involve writing.
Now, we've all heard of "writer's block". That's when you sit down and try to write something and nothing comes out. The torturous process of squeezing a story out of your brain's like trying to wring out a mostly-dried towel. Know what I think of you folks with this dilemma? I envy you. Me? I'm the opposite. I've thought of five good blog topics in the last half-hour and was so annoyed with myself that I decided to write this one. It's like having a swarm of garbage flies in my head and I'm unable to get anything done, due to their distracting nature.
Maybe there's a scientific/literary term for this. Maybe not. I'm gonna go in an odd direction and call this phenomenon "Creative Paralysis". The most devastating thing about Creative Paralysis is that it's made me waste so much time trying to figure out which idea to run with that . . . I end up doing nothing. Ever have that happen? You've got 10 ideas for a story and none of them jump to the front of the line, so you end up writing zilch? It's why I do short stories better than books or screenplays. I can "swat" these ideas in my head - one-by-one - much faster with shorter tales.
It's annoying, believe you me!
So, how do you get past Creative Paralysis and get something done?
Here are 2 suggestions:
#1 - Set yourself a span of time (say, having a new short story/chapter/poem done every 4 days). Then go about your day and see what mad ideas scream out at you. Have a scrap piece of paper and a pen handy. Give each idea a story title. And before you go to bed on Day 1, pick one. No matter what "better" ideas assault you over the next 4 days, (try to) stick with that one. No matter how crappy that chosen idea is, finish it off by the 4th day. You can always tweak it later. One idea on paper beats nineteen concepts in your head. If a newer, better, idea hits you like a school bus . . . jot it down and use it on the next 4-day cycle.
#2 - Go with your gut and wait for an idea to jump to the front of the line. If you have nothing but time and inclination, just wait. Don't pick up a pen or paper. Let the ideas compete for your attention. Some will stick (because they're that good). Some you'll actually forget (which is kind of embarrassing at times). But when a great idea jumps out of the murky depths, you must strike! Work on it like the world's at stake. Don't mess with any other project 'til that one's done. Devote yourself to it like a new lover.
I've done both, with satisfying results. Before I published "Unheroic", I used Suggestion #2. I'd jump on a story idea with a lusty smile, finish her off, and move on to the next one. If you can keep your life reasonably uncluttered, you could create dozens of strong-concept stories within a year. Don't force it. Stop whenever you feel burned out. But don't stray away from it or you'll lose that flow.
But now that I'm a "writer-businessman", I've gotta wear a lot of hats. So, while I'm selling "Unheroic", I've also gotta write up X amount of new pieces for future works. That requires me to use Suggestion #1. Between my editor and I, any crappy first draft I make can be turned into a masterpiece: given time and rewriting.
Which one do I prefer? Suggestion #2, of course. That's how I whipped up over 1,000 pages worth of short stories in about 3 years. But now, I'm no longer just a writer with an open schedule, a laptop, and a comfy couch. I've got a teensy little company to run and dozens of books to set up. Planning requires Suggestion #1.
Sorry this post is so long. But Creative Paralysis bothers me.
Hope it helps any sufferers out there.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
TO THEME OR NOT TO THEME?
When I wrote "Unheroic", my first inclination was to slap a bunch of short stories together and call it a book. Luckily, my editor (Ed) talked me out of it. He argued that short story collections should be centered around a central theme. This friggin' sucked for me because I wrote a bunch of stories with no particular theme in mind. I'd just wake up too early in the morning, "puke" a story into existence, and then work on it until it was worthy.
I had a sizable herd of stories and spent a lot of time going from theme to theme. I think I had gone through four or five of them before "Unheroic" came up. The theme I chose was simple: a collection of short stories about characters saving the day who have NO business calling themselves heroic. Imagine a story where a demon from Hell saves the day? Or the damsel in distress? It's a quick, easy-to-explain theme which piqued a lot of people's curiosity and ended up helping my initial sales.
So, when compiling your collection, think of a theme. Make it ungeneric. Don't let it be bland. It's gotta be something you can explain quick and easy-like. And tuck in enough stories to give the reader a reasonably-sized book of tales to read. I put 36 into mine, for a little over 200 paperback pages. If you're writing your theme-based stories from scratch, I'm impressed. I'd rather write over 100 stories, size them up, and then work out a theme later. There's more flexibility that way . . . and more room for mistakes (God knows I made a few).
I had a sizable herd of stories and spent a lot of time going from theme to theme. I think I had gone through four or five of them before "Unheroic" came up. The theme I chose was simple: a collection of short stories about characters saving the day who have NO business calling themselves heroic. Imagine a story where a demon from Hell saves the day? Or the damsel in distress? It's a quick, easy-to-explain theme which piqued a lot of people's curiosity and ended up helping my initial sales.
So, when compiling your collection, think of a theme. Make it ungeneric. Don't let it be bland. It's gotta be something you can explain quick and easy-like. And tuck in enough stories to give the reader a reasonably-sized book of tales to read. I put 36 into mine, for a little over 200 paperback pages. If you're writing your theme-based stories from scratch, I'm impressed. I'd rather write over 100 stories, size them up, and then work out a theme later. There's more flexibility that way . . . and more room for mistakes (God knows I made a few).
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
HOW IT SHOULD'VE ENDED SITE
I heard about this sick little site on YouTube, wherein you can see their version of how movies should've ended. It's good to know that there stranger minds out there than mine. The link's below:
http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com
Enjoy.
http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com
Enjoy.
Monday, June 20, 2011
HOLD SOMETHING BACK
A word of advice to anyone putting together books of short fiction and/or poetry: always hold back some of your good stuff.
Why do this? Bear with me. I feel a tangent coming . . .
Think of a really good album you've listened to. The type where most of the tracks were just that damned good. And you played it over and over again because it struck a chord in you? Usually, I'm shocked if two/three tracks on an album are worth listening to these days. To find more than seven worthy hits on the same CD? That's almost worth writing home about!
Here's the problem that some of those talented artists faced. After that great, breakout album . . . their future works were either mediocre or just plain crap. Causes for this malady may vary. Some musicians lost their edge. Others lost their songwriters. And others still made more money doing movies/TV and devoted less time to their art.
Whatever the cause, when they got around to releasing something new, it wasn't in the same league as the older stuff. I don't mind if someone heads into a different musical phase, as long as the newer one doesn't suck. But it's hard to make hit-filled albums over a long career (ask the Rolling Stones or Aerosmith).
Anyway, here are some "theoreticals" I'd like to throw out:
What if Ludacris held back "Fantasy" and stuck it in his most recent album instead?
What if Metallica held back "Enter Sandman" and stuck it in their latest album?
Limp Bizkit's "Breakin' Stuff" could've been held over.
And don't even get me started on Lauren Hill, Alanis Morissette, En Vogue, or LL Cool J (could you imagine if he held back "Mamma Said Knock You Out"?!).
Any of these artists could've put ONE elite (past) track into a so-so/crappy (future) album and gone platinum with a bang. Instead, they crammed their best stuff into earlier work(s), upped our expectations, and then deprived us of the joy of hearing one of their "old-school" tracks in a future piece.
These days, stick one good song and 10-15 mediocre ones on a CD and any decent marketing team can turn it into a hit album (ask Saliva or Usher). Why? Because everyone plays that one damned song over and over and over and over again until it's embedded in the public's psyche. Don't believe me? Wait 'til someone plays "I'm Too Sexy" (by Right Said Fred) in your presence . . or "Jump Around" (by House of Pain), perhaps? And for the record, House of Pain's pretty good. But their breakout album could've had "Jump Around" and 14 tracks filled with farting noises . . . and they still would've gone platinum.
Now, what does this have to do with literature?
Not too much. I don't think a writer will get worse with age (hopefully, quite the reverse). But I suspect that we writers/poets go through phases. And once you're done with a phase, it's hard to go back to it. For example, I used to do a lot of action-laced sci-fi when I was a kid. Now, my stuff's more about "what if" concepts, with a sprinkling of violence/weirdness/humor. I've written horror, fiction, and even a western. Ten years down the road, I might be doing love stories or detective pieces. Could I go back to that old action phase now? Not really.
To you writers and poets, I offer one humble suggestion: hold some of your good stuff back . . . stuff that's timeless. Sprinkle it into future works, so that your future readers can see interesting bits of the "old" you in your current works. An added plus is that you won't have to fight to write something from a prior phase. And, Heaven forbid, if your future works lacks your current fire, you can redeem it a bit by throwing in something you held back.
Just go with your gut and set aside any "hits" you think can stand the test of time. Put 'em out there when the time/theme is right. I put some wicked pieces into my first collection. Yet, I intentionally held some back, with the music industry in mind. They'll serve me well in future - this I know. And I imagine that writing a good short story or poem's easier than creating a good song (with the music, lyrics and vocals all in synch). Who knows? Maybe I've got nothing to worry about, right? I might write 30 awesome books without too much effort, right?
We'll see.
Adios, folks. And please remember: this is just a piece of advice. Going back to music for a bit, think hard and maybe you'll come up with an artist/group capable of CONSISTENTLY generating great music for a decade-plus. But they're few and far between, wouldn't you agree?
Why do this? Bear with me. I feel a tangent coming . . .
Think of a really good album you've listened to. The type where most of the tracks were just that damned good. And you played it over and over again because it struck a chord in you? Usually, I'm shocked if two/three tracks on an album are worth listening to these days. To find more than seven worthy hits on the same CD? That's almost worth writing home about!
Here's the problem that some of those talented artists faced. After that great, breakout album . . . their future works were either mediocre or just plain crap. Causes for this malady may vary. Some musicians lost their edge. Others lost their songwriters. And others still made more money doing movies/TV and devoted less time to their art.
Whatever the cause, when they got around to releasing something new, it wasn't in the same league as the older stuff. I don't mind if someone heads into a different musical phase, as long as the newer one doesn't suck. But it's hard to make hit-filled albums over a long career (ask the Rolling Stones or Aerosmith).
Anyway, here are some "theoreticals" I'd like to throw out:
What if Ludacris held back "Fantasy" and stuck it in his most recent album instead?
What if Metallica held back "Enter Sandman" and stuck it in their latest album?
Limp Bizkit's "Breakin' Stuff" could've been held over.
And don't even get me started on Lauren Hill, Alanis Morissette, En Vogue, or LL Cool J (could you imagine if he held back "Mamma Said Knock You Out"?!).
Any of these artists could've put ONE elite (past) track into a so-so/crappy (future) album and gone platinum with a bang. Instead, they crammed their best stuff into earlier work(s), upped our expectations, and then deprived us of the joy of hearing one of their "old-school" tracks in a future piece.
These days, stick one good song and 10-15 mediocre ones on a CD and any decent marketing team can turn it into a hit album (ask Saliva or Usher). Why? Because everyone plays that one damned song over and over and over and over again until it's embedded in the public's psyche. Don't believe me? Wait 'til someone plays "I'm Too Sexy" (by Right Said Fred) in your presence . . or "Jump Around" (by House of Pain), perhaps? And for the record, House of Pain's pretty good. But their breakout album could've had "Jump Around" and 14 tracks filled with farting noises . . . and they still would've gone platinum.
Now, what does this have to do with literature?
Not too much. I don't think a writer will get worse with age (hopefully, quite the reverse). But I suspect that we writers/poets go through phases. And once you're done with a phase, it's hard to go back to it. For example, I used to do a lot of action-laced sci-fi when I was a kid. Now, my stuff's more about "what if" concepts, with a sprinkling of violence/weirdness/humor. I've written horror, fiction, and even a western. Ten years down the road, I might be doing love stories or detective pieces. Could I go back to that old action phase now? Not really.
To you writers and poets, I offer one humble suggestion: hold some of your good stuff back . . . stuff that's timeless. Sprinkle it into future works, so that your future readers can see interesting bits of the "old" you in your current works. An added plus is that you won't have to fight to write something from a prior phase. And, Heaven forbid, if your future works lacks your current fire, you can redeem it a bit by throwing in something you held back.
Just go with your gut and set aside any "hits" you think can stand the test of time. Put 'em out there when the time/theme is right. I put some wicked pieces into my first collection. Yet, I intentionally held some back, with the music industry in mind. They'll serve me well in future - this I know. And I imagine that writing a good short story or poem's easier than creating a good song (with the music, lyrics and vocals all in synch). Who knows? Maybe I've got nothing to worry about, right? I might write 30 awesome books without too much effort, right?
We'll see.
Adios, folks. And please remember: this is just a piece of advice. Going back to music for a bit, think hard and maybe you'll come up with an artist/group capable of CONSISTENTLY generating great music for a decade-plus. But they're few and far between, wouldn't you agree?
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM R.A. SALVATORE
Growing up, R.A. Salvatore was one of my favorite fantasy writers. He did this wicked series called "Forgotten Realms", which began with a book called "The Crystal Shard". I HIGHLY recommend that you hunt that puppy down and read, like, the first nine books of that series.
The man's style of fantasy was crisp, a joy to read, filled with interesting characters, and had some of the best fight scenes I've ever read. Salvatore's a flat-out genius.
And, while putzing around YouTube, I stumbled across a Q&A session that he did in Toronto last year. The attached link will guide you to the one that caught my eye/ear the most.
He was asked (in a roundabout way) for any words of wisdom he would give to an aspiring writer. And his answer was interesting . . .
http://vimeo.com/15667354
The man's style of fantasy was crisp, a joy to read, filled with interesting characters, and had some of the best fight scenes I've ever read. Salvatore's a flat-out genius.
And, while putzing around YouTube, I stumbled across a Q&A session that he did in Toronto last year. The attached link will guide you to the one that caught my eye/ear the most.
He was asked (in a roundabout way) for any words of wisdom he would give to an aspiring writer. And his answer was interesting . . .
http://vimeo.com/15667354
Friday, June 10, 2011
2 FUNKY LITTLE ARTICLES
Greetings, fellow writers!
As I enjoy the bliss of a phlegmy sinus infection, I has occurred to me that I haven't posted a blog in a day or ten.
Apologies.
To start making it up to you, I'm attaching two links (below) to two articles from the same guy at the same site. They're both involved with self-publishing, which may/may not interest you.
Article #1 Deals with 25 tips a self-publisher should know
http://reviews.cnet.com/self-publishing/
Article #2 Deals with different types of self-publishing companies (along with their pros & cons). This site led me to the self-publisher I ultimately tapped to put out my first book.
http://reviews.cnet.com/how-to-self-publish-an-e-book
I'll be back in warped form soon (hopefully the time the antibiotics wear off).
Take care. Chew vitamins.
As I enjoy the bliss of a phlegmy sinus infection, I has occurred to me that I haven't posted a blog in a day or ten.
Apologies.
To start making it up to you, I'm attaching two links (below) to two articles from the same guy at the same site. They're both involved with self-publishing, which may/may not interest you.
Article #1 Deals with 25 tips a self-publisher should know
http://reviews.cnet.com/self-publishing/
Article #2 Deals with different types of self-publishing companies (along with their pros & cons). This site led me to the self-publisher I ultimately tapped to put out my first book.
http://reviews.cnet.com/how-to-self-publish-an-e-book
I'll be back in warped form soon (hopefully the time the antibiotics wear off).
Take care. Chew vitamins.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
NIPPING & TUCKING
Say you've written a nifty tale about a concept that hits your mind. For example, I one wrote a piece called "Ninja Leprechauns", simply because I put the those two words together. And, like the chocolate/peanut butter mix of Reese's cups, I typed up a story about assassins with the combined powers of ninjas and leprechauns. And these bastards wipe out a whole bunch of mobsters as a sort of "final exam", easily succeed, and become full-fledged badasses.
And you know what? The story sucked!
Yep. I'll admit it. It sucked. I let it sit and collect dust for about 3 years. And now, I'm gonna put "Ninja Leprechauns" into my second book. Why do this?
Because I'm gonna nip and tuck the original draft. This is the best/worst part about the writing process. You don't just write a story, run it under the spell-checker, and figure that it is utterly flawless. That's good for high school but the real world. If you've written something and care about it, be prepared to polish and re-write it a bunch of times. How many? That's up to you.
Here's my method (maybe it'll help):
Step 1: Puke a story into existence, while under the influence of music and caffeine. Just write. Don't edit. Just write it out, save it, and go about your day. Let what you've written percolate in your head. What really pisses me off about this phase is that I'll save the story, turn off my computer, hit the shower, go to work, and then come up with fourteen different add-ons for the damned thing! Should this happen to you, scribble them down until you can get back to your fledgling masterpiece.
Step 2: Within 24 hours, look it over and fix the errors/non sequitors. You'll have spelling and grammatical errors. Some of your wording might not flow and need some fixing. And sometimes, you'll screw up facts in the piece (like having someone fire a six-shooter 8 times) or have to hit Google to verify the state capital of Florida. You're human. It happens. Read through it and patch it up once. Then go about your day.
Step 3: Within 48 hours, look it over again with a calm mind and some spare time. Think: "I can make this thing a little bit better". The thing is . . . you probably will.
Step 4: Put it away and write something else. Try not to touch this story against for AT LEAST a week. I know. It sounds weird. But I've got so many stories in my stable that I can actually do this. And when I look over a story that I haven't touched in months/years, I see it with a new set of eyes. My mind's more able to pick apart its flaws and make it better.
Step 5: Then, when you decided to pick up the story, make a decision. Either polish the story up a bit and feel happy. Or scrap the thing, because it just won't fly. And sometimes (like in the case of "Ninja Leprechauns"), you can go back to Step 1 and rewrite it from scratch.
Step 6: When you feel it's done and ready, stand up and re-read it aloud. Seriously. It's funny how you'll spot weaknesses in your descriptions, dialogue, or word flow when you're reading aloud and pacing about.
Step 7: Hand it off to your editor and/or fellow writer. Accept any criticisms your story gets and change only what you think needs changing. But try to see their critiques through their eyes. NEVER, EVER, write a story and submit it without putting it under another set of eyes. That's just silly.
How many edits does it take to get a story to where you like it? I dunno. I opened up "Unheroic" and still see stuff I want to change. But that's a peril of the writing game: to paralyze yourself by eternally polishing a work . . . and never submitting it. My advice is to go with your gut and then get a second opinion. If a story's ready to go - perfect or not - put it out there.
If the story's well-written and downright enjoyable, you've done right by your reader. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to redesign my assassins.
Have a nice day.
[Older posts can be seen at http://PlotTwisted.blogspot.com]
And you know what? The story sucked!
Yep. I'll admit it. It sucked. I let it sit and collect dust for about 3 years. And now, I'm gonna put "Ninja Leprechauns" into my second book. Why do this?
Because I'm gonna nip and tuck the original draft. This is the best/worst part about the writing process. You don't just write a story, run it under the spell-checker, and figure that it is utterly flawless. That's good for high school but the real world. If you've written something and care about it, be prepared to polish and re-write it a bunch of times. How many? That's up to you.
Here's my method (maybe it'll help):
Step 1: Puke a story into existence, while under the influence of music and caffeine. Just write. Don't edit. Just write it out, save it, and go about your day. Let what you've written percolate in your head. What really pisses me off about this phase is that I'll save the story, turn off my computer, hit the shower, go to work, and then come up with fourteen different add-ons for the damned thing! Should this happen to you, scribble them down until you can get back to your fledgling masterpiece.
Step 2: Within 24 hours, look it over and fix the errors/non sequitors. You'll have spelling and grammatical errors. Some of your wording might not flow and need some fixing. And sometimes, you'll screw up facts in the piece (like having someone fire a six-shooter 8 times) or have to hit Google to verify the state capital of Florida. You're human. It happens. Read through it and patch it up once. Then go about your day.
Step 3: Within 48 hours, look it over again with a calm mind and some spare time. Think: "I can make this thing a little bit better". The thing is . . . you probably will.
Step 4: Put it away and write something else. Try not to touch this story against for AT LEAST a week. I know. It sounds weird. But I've got so many stories in my stable that I can actually do this. And when I look over a story that I haven't touched in months/years, I see it with a new set of eyes. My mind's more able to pick apart its flaws and make it better.
Step 5: Then, when you decided to pick up the story, make a decision. Either polish the story up a bit and feel happy. Or scrap the thing, because it just won't fly. And sometimes (like in the case of "Ninja Leprechauns"), you can go back to Step 1 and rewrite it from scratch.
Step 6: When you feel it's done and ready, stand up and re-read it aloud. Seriously. It's funny how you'll spot weaknesses in your descriptions, dialogue, or word flow when you're reading aloud and pacing about.
Step 7: Hand it off to your editor and/or fellow writer. Accept any criticisms your story gets and change only what you think needs changing. But try to see their critiques through their eyes. NEVER, EVER, write a story and submit it without putting it under another set of eyes. That's just silly.
How many edits does it take to get a story to where you like it? I dunno. I opened up "Unheroic" and still see stuff I want to change. But that's a peril of the writing game: to paralyze yourself by eternally polishing a work . . . and never submitting it. My advice is to go with your gut and then get a second opinion. If a story's ready to go - perfect or not - put it out there.
If the story's well-written and downright enjoyable, you've done right by your reader. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to redesign my assassins.
Have a nice day.
[Older posts can be seen at http://PlotTwisted.blogspot.com]
Thursday, May 19, 2011
GOT A POEM OR SHORT STORY THAT YOU WANNA SUBMIT?
There's a site called "Duotrope" wherein writers can submit their stories/poems to over 3,400 current sites. They can narrow your search by genre, payment type, etc.
Here's the link:
http://www.duotrope.com/
I'm gonna hit this site like a hungry T-Rex.
When you're looking for magazines to submit you, this site might be of use.
Adios.
Here's the link:
http://www.duotrope.com/
I'm gonna hit this site like a hungry T-Rex.
When you're looking for magazines to submit you, this site might be of use.
Adios.
DON'T TRY THIS ALONE
Beware the Sirens' song of the introvert, which makes you reluctant to interact with fellow writers or chase your writing dreams solely on your own. I've made that mistake and it's slowed me down considerably.
Please remember that time's not like money (which you can "re-earn"). Frankly, time's probably the most precious thing that any of us possess.
Now, if you're uncomfortable about discussing your work with others, my advice is to get "comfortable" and quick. Everyone you meet won't help you. But there are so many ways that others can help you become a better writer (from constructive criticism to inspiration for a story to the name of their publisher/cousin).
It's not what you know or who you know - it's both. Hand-in-hand, your writing skills and the right allies can make it easier to get sh&t done.
Contacts with others in the writing game offer some useful advantages. Here are some examples of how help from others did wonders for my writing efforts so far:
1. I found my current editor while chatting with a friend of his. While she knew that I was working on a book, she didn't think to mention him until I said that I needed an editor.
2. I stopped writing a few years back. A fellow co-worker/fellow writer invited me to her Writer's Club. I went to a few meetings, got hooked, and ended up getting my first book done much sooner that I would've if she hadn't invited me in.
3. I knew this guy who was a graphic artist. I needed someone to do my cover and asked him if he knew anyone with skills. He raised hand and ended up giving me a killer cover for a great price.
4. One of my favorite stories "The Inheritance" was inspired by a story I heard from a lady in Subway restaurant. Her story was about a family cleaning out the home of a deceased relative, accidentally finiding some money, and then sharing what they found. My sick mind took that story and wrote about a group of siblings who enter a booby trapped mansion on a lethal scavenger hunt worth billions. Had I never met her, that story wouldn't exist.
I could go on and on about the impact of others upon my writing quest. And if you've been in the game long enough, I'm sure you'll come up with some examples as well.
Look up conferences. Join writers' groups. Submit pieces of your work and get known. Make buddies on-line. Learn from their mistakes and avoid 'em where you can.
And if you do nothing else, keep in touch with the outside world, which impacts everything you write. The more you interact, the more you learn, and the better you can write.
Learn what they have to teach and don't be afraid to give something back (say, to a writer with less experience). Struggling writers tend to get along pretty well, y'know. Makes me happy to know that I'm not the only lunatic dreamer out there.
So don't think of just needing "a room with a view".
Think of needing a world of colleagues, friends, and near-strangers whose collective aid/wisdom can make you a better writer.
Please remember that time's not like money (which you can "re-earn"). Frankly, time's probably the most precious thing that any of us possess.
Now, if you're uncomfortable about discussing your work with others, my advice is to get "comfortable" and quick. Everyone you meet won't help you. But there are so many ways that others can help you become a better writer (from constructive criticism to inspiration for a story to the name of their publisher/cousin).
It's not what you know or who you know - it's both. Hand-in-hand, your writing skills and the right allies can make it easier to get sh&t done.
Contacts with others in the writing game offer some useful advantages. Here are some examples of how help from others did wonders for my writing efforts so far:
1. I found my current editor while chatting with a friend of his. While she knew that I was working on a book, she didn't think to mention him until I said that I needed an editor.
2. I stopped writing a few years back. A fellow co-worker/fellow writer invited me to her Writer's Club. I went to a few meetings, got hooked, and ended up getting my first book done much sooner that I would've if she hadn't invited me in.
3. I knew this guy who was a graphic artist. I needed someone to do my cover and asked him if he knew anyone with skills. He raised hand and ended up giving me a killer cover for a great price.
4. One of my favorite stories "The Inheritance" was inspired by a story I heard from a lady in Subway restaurant. Her story was about a family cleaning out the home of a deceased relative, accidentally finiding some money, and then sharing what they found. My sick mind took that story and wrote about a group of siblings who enter a booby trapped mansion on a lethal scavenger hunt worth billions. Had I never met her, that story wouldn't exist.
I could go on and on about the impact of others upon my writing quest. And if you've been in the game long enough, I'm sure you'll come up with some examples as well.
Look up conferences. Join writers' groups. Submit pieces of your work and get known. Make buddies on-line. Learn from their mistakes and avoid 'em where you can.
And if you do nothing else, keep in touch with the outside world, which impacts everything you write. The more you interact, the more you learn, and the better you can write.
Learn what they have to teach and don't be afraid to give something back (say, to a writer with less experience). Struggling writers tend to get along pretty well, y'know. Makes me happy to know that I'm not the only lunatic dreamer out there.
So don't think of just needing "a room with a view".
Think of needing a world of colleagues, friends, and near-strangers whose collective aid/wisdom can make you a better writer.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
CHECK THESE GUYS OUT!
I've stumbled across another potentially-useful site (Publetariat) for self-publishing types, read into it a bit and stuck in my "Favorites" tab. Feel free to tap it's interesting blogs and contact lists.
Don't worry - I'm not the jealous type. Anything out there that'll help my "vast" [snicker] fanbase become successful writers is fair game.
The link's below. Hope it helps.
http://www.publetariat.com/
By the by, I'll be back to my standard schedule in a bit. I've got a heavyweight personal matter to attend to.
Take care.
Keep writing.
Don't worry - I'm not the jealous type. Anything out there that'll help my "vast" [snicker] fanbase become successful writers is fair game.
The link's below. Hope it helps.
http://www.publetariat.com/
By the by, I'll be back to my standard schedule in a bit. I've got a heavyweight personal matter to attend to.
Take care.
Keep writing.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
UNHEROIC - FastPencil
IT'S ALIVE!
Sorry I've been incommunicato these past bunch of days - but I've been busy.
My first book's out there, looking all cute and wicked (FastPencil, Amazon, Barnes & Noble). I feel like a proud pappa . . .
Then I realize that the hard part starts: the marketing, setting up the next book, business-oriented crapola. All that hard work's gonna feel like a raising a kid for real (minus the vomit, bottle-feeding and diapers). But let's face it folks: "Unheroic" has been born . . . now he needs to be raised.
For now - just for now - I'm gonna bask in the moment and be contennt. . .
All right. Moment's over.
Below's a link to FastPencil, the site I used to self-publish my book. You can buy the book as a hard copy, a PDF, or a EPUB. If you wanna sample the book's first few stories, hit the "Unheroic" link below.
Thanks and enjoy.
P.S. - I'll be a-blogging like normal sometime next week. I'm a bit burned-out.
Friday, April 15, 2011
BE READY
Every so often, I look back on my days past and mentally kick myself for not getting to this point sooner. I could've written these short stories years ago, save my money better, or sped up the research I put into starting a business. Instead, I "putzed" around until my late thirties, before I finally "got serious" and chased my dream.
But then I take comfort in the fact that I probably wouldn't pulled it off.
It's hard to prove but easy enough to understand, if you think of your own lives. Ever had a situation where the timing was just right and everything fell into place? Like it was meant to be? Where you knew that THIS was the right time, place, thing for you?
My current tales are the culmination of so many experiences (good/bad/odd) that took me this long to gain. Had I pushed it, my stuff would definitely be different. Hell, it might actually have sucked. I take comfort in the fact that I made it this far at all. I could just as easily have let my talent rot, doing something else more "doable" and die a satisfied man someday.
The point of this post? Simple. For every writer who even gets to the point of a finished work (achieveing a state of "ready"), there are so many more who don't. You can rush it. But, if you're anything like me, you'll burn out and quit for a while, then (some day) try it again . . . and again . . . and again. Only the perfect and/or the lucky pull off a polished book in their twenties. The rest of us mortals have a wall between us and our dreams. And we have to bang our heads against that wall until we notice a weak spot, pack it with dynamite, and make a hole.
At age 39, I'm staring at a smoke-filled hole in the wall. I'm about to jump through and I've not a clue what's on the other side. But f*ck the fear . . . I'm jumping anyway.
If you haven't gotten to this point, you have to believe that you will someday. Some suggestions:
1. Believe that you'll make it someday.
2. Finish what you start, unless you can't. I'm not even gonna talk about novels (my particular kryptonite). Sticking with shorter works (poems, short stories, songs, etc.), my advice is to finish them and polish them. Then set them aside for at least month . . . or even a year. Then do it again. That way, when your time comes, you won't have to scramble so much to refine your work. Don't assume these polishes are done until the finished work's on the shelf.
3. Start a library of how-to books. Snatch up books on writing, blogging, business, and/or anything else useful. Even if you don't read every page, keep 'em handy. When (not if, when) your shot comes, you'll have a pile of knowledge at your fingertips.
4. Probably the most important thing of all: keep your options open. This'll be hard for those who are married, raising kids, active in umpteen different social functions, etc. When your time comes, and you start gaining momentum, you're gonna have to make sacrifices or you might make it. As you get deeper into the writing game, you should either keep your commitments light and few (like I do), work harder (like I do), and/or shift more of your leisure time to the writing process (like I do). But folks, don't turn your back on life or the people in it in the pursuit of literary goals.
5. Actually, this one's the most important one to remember: when your time comes, don't hesitate. Move! Jump! Fly! Whatever you do, don't put it off or delay.
Time never waits, folks.
The bastard never waits.
So, I'm gonna eat a sandwich now.
Take care, write well, and be ready for that opportunity to present itself.
Arm yourself with finished works and a balanced lifestyle that can take on the added burdens of writing.
And once that moment presents itself, you'll be ready.
But then I take comfort in the fact that I probably wouldn't pulled it off.
It's hard to prove but easy enough to understand, if you think of your own lives. Ever had a situation where the timing was just right and everything fell into place? Like it was meant to be? Where you knew that THIS was the right time, place, thing for you?
My current tales are the culmination of so many experiences (good/bad/odd) that took me this long to gain. Had I pushed it, my stuff would definitely be different. Hell, it might actually have sucked. I take comfort in the fact that I made it this far at all. I could just as easily have let my talent rot, doing something else more "doable" and die a satisfied man someday.
The point of this post? Simple. For every writer who even gets to the point of a finished work (achieveing a state of "ready"), there are so many more who don't. You can rush it. But, if you're anything like me, you'll burn out and quit for a while, then (some day) try it again . . . and again . . . and again. Only the perfect and/or the lucky pull off a polished book in their twenties. The rest of us mortals have a wall between us and our dreams. And we have to bang our heads against that wall until we notice a weak spot, pack it with dynamite, and make a hole.
At age 39, I'm staring at a smoke-filled hole in the wall. I'm about to jump through and I've not a clue what's on the other side. But f*ck the fear . . . I'm jumping anyway.
If you haven't gotten to this point, you have to believe that you will someday. Some suggestions:
1. Believe that you'll make it someday.
2. Finish what you start, unless you can't. I'm not even gonna talk about novels (my particular kryptonite). Sticking with shorter works (poems, short stories, songs, etc.), my advice is to finish them and polish them. Then set them aside for at least month . . . or even a year. Then do it again. That way, when your time comes, you won't have to scramble so much to refine your work. Don't assume these polishes are done until the finished work's on the shelf.
3. Start a library of how-to books. Snatch up books on writing, blogging, business, and/or anything else useful. Even if you don't read every page, keep 'em handy. When (not if, when) your shot comes, you'll have a pile of knowledge at your fingertips.
4. Probably the most important thing of all: keep your options open. This'll be hard for those who are married, raising kids, active in umpteen different social functions, etc. When your time comes, and you start gaining momentum, you're gonna have to make sacrifices or you might make it. As you get deeper into the writing game, you should either keep your commitments light and few (like I do), work harder (like I do), and/or shift more of your leisure time to the writing process (like I do). But folks, don't turn your back on life or the people in it in the pursuit of literary goals.
5. Actually, this one's the most important one to remember: when your time comes, don't hesitate. Move! Jump! Fly! Whatever you do, don't put it off or delay.
Time never waits, folks.
The bastard never waits.
So, I'm gonna eat a sandwich now.
Take care, write well, and be ready for that opportunity to present itself.
Arm yourself with finished works and a balanced lifestyle that can take on the added burdens of writing.
And once that moment presents itself, you'll be ready.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
LAST REMINDER . . .
YOU'VE GOT LESS THAN A MONTH - THAT'S RIGHT! ONE MONTH - TO ENTER THE 80TH ANNUAL WRITER'S DIGEST WRITING COMPETITION.
Poems, short stories, and other entry types are welcome. Prizes and fame go to those who kicketh the a$$.
The first deadline is 5/2/11. Final deadline's 5/20/11.
For details, hit Google and type in (exactly) the following phrase: "80th annual writer's digest writing competition".
It's cheap to enter and potentially a fast-tracking way to jumpstart a fledgling career in writing. If you have a literary masterpiece in cold storage, maybe you should dust it off and get it out there.
I know I will.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
RUN YOUR MOUTH
It's downright amazing to be this friggin' close to thrusting my first book out into the world by the end of this April. A lot of things went my way. I happened to have enough money to self-publish, wisdom/assistance from a number of folks, bills/money hurdles I could handle, and the mad need to see this thing through. But you know the real reason I'm getting this baby out in April?
'Cause I told everyone that I would.
I set the date in October (which was stupid). I didn't have everything edited, my final copywright was still in limbo, and I didn't have the cover art set up . . . or a final book title locked in! I even changed my mind on which self-publishing company to use (like, 3 times so far). But here's the thing . . . I ran my mouth and ended up setting this beast up in six months. And my family/friends just can't wait to see the fruition of my literary abilities this coming April. Why?
'Cause I ran my mouth well enough to get them curious. My stuff's so "different" that merely describing some of the short stories got people wanting to read the whole book. That's the nice part of this increase in my blood pressure.
And I wasn't about to let my fledgling readership down. The fear of such an outcome is a useful stick, especially when I want to slack off a bit and maybe delay publication until May or June.
I nibbled at different aspects of this endeavor on a (pretty much) daily basis, which is the only reason I was able to do this at all. Unlike a final exam, this isn't something that would've worked by a lot of last-minute "cramming". Still, I'm tired, in need of a long vacation, and spewing money like an erupting volcano.
But I'll get "Unheroic" out by the last day of April . . . 'cause I said I would.
If you have a finished book, think of the following factors before you set a self-publishing date:
1. Treat that publishing date as etched in stone, like a wedding date. It doesn't get changed/cancelled for any reason (even if you're dead).
2. Has your work been copywritten yet? If so, cool. If not, hit the Library of Congress' site and get your piece copywritten (thus allowing you to sue folks trying to plagiarize your stuff). It can take from 2 - 6 months for the registration to go through.
3. What monetary obstacles are in your forseeable future? For example, I was paying my editor on some last-minute edits during the Christmas holidays. I was also paying for cover art during tax season. Try to set your window during a boringish part of the year.
4. If you're self-publishing, I'd suggest that you get your business/tax situation settled. For example, a vendor's license or a LLC might come in handy if you're starting your own business as a self-publisher. Call up a few accountants/lawyers and get some wisdom.
5. Edit and re-edit the crap out of your "finished" work, even after the editor's done. The both of ya' probably missed something. Stop proofing the masterpiece only when it's well and truly finished, not when you're sick and tired of looking at it.
6. Be ready to sacrifice. To meet a six-month deadline (without everything in place) will require some fast-paced spending of your time and hard-earned cash. Treat your writing expenses like your rent/electric/car note, rather than a bottom-tiered expense.
7. Thoroughly research your publishing companies (and their contractual fine-print) before you relax and assume you'll be using their service. Hit 'em up with questions now to avoid surprises later.
8. And lastly, run your mouth. Yes, you risk disappointing folks if you renege on the publishing date. But guess what: if you tell enough people about what you're doing, you've created "buzz". Without paying a dime toward advertising, you've got customers wanting to buy your masterpiece. Better still, the peer pressure of meeting that deadline makes you a 1,000 times more disciplined than if you didn't have a locked-in date.
'Cause I told everyone that I would.
I set the date in October (which was stupid). I didn't have everything edited, my final copywright was still in limbo, and I didn't have the cover art set up . . . or a final book title locked in! I even changed my mind on which self-publishing company to use (like, 3 times so far). But here's the thing . . . I ran my mouth and ended up setting this beast up in six months. And my family/friends just can't wait to see the fruition of my literary abilities this coming April. Why?
'Cause I ran my mouth well enough to get them curious. My stuff's so "different" that merely describing some of the short stories got people wanting to read the whole book. That's the nice part of this increase in my blood pressure.
And I wasn't about to let my fledgling readership down. The fear of such an outcome is a useful stick, especially when I want to slack off a bit and maybe delay publication until May or June.
I nibbled at different aspects of this endeavor on a (pretty much) daily basis, which is the only reason I was able to do this at all. Unlike a final exam, this isn't something that would've worked by a lot of last-minute "cramming". Still, I'm tired, in need of a long vacation, and spewing money like an erupting volcano.
But I'll get "Unheroic" out by the last day of April . . . 'cause I said I would.
If you have a finished book, think of the following factors before you set a self-publishing date:
1. Treat that publishing date as etched in stone, like a wedding date. It doesn't get changed/cancelled for any reason (even if you're dead).
2. Has your work been copywritten yet? If so, cool. If not, hit the Library of Congress' site and get your piece copywritten (thus allowing you to sue folks trying to plagiarize your stuff). It can take from 2 - 6 months for the registration to go through.
3. What monetary obstacles are in your forseeable future? For example, I was paying my editor on some last-minute edits during the Christmas holidays. I was also paying for cover art during tax season. Try to set your window during a boringish part of the year.
4. If you're self-publishing, I'd suggest that you get your business/tax situation settled. For example, a vendor's license or a LLC might come in handy if you're starting your own business as a self-publisher. Call up a few accountants/lawyers and get some wisdom.
5. Edit and re-edit the crap out of your "finished" work, even after the editor's done. The both of ya' probably missed something. Stop proofing the masterpiece only when it's well and truly finished, not when you're sick and tired of looking at it.
6. Be ready to sacrifice. To meet a six-month deadline (without everything in place) will require some fast-paced spending of your time and hard-earned cash. Treat your writing expenses like your rent/electric/car note, rather than a bottom-tiered expense.
7. Thoroughly research your publishing companies (and their contractual fine-print) before you relax and assume you'll be using their service. Hit 'em up with questions now to avoid surprises later.
8. And lastly, run your mouth. Yes, you risk disappointing folks if you renege on the publishing date. But guess what: if you tell enough people about what you're doing, you've created "buzz". Without paying a dime toward advertising, you've got customers wanting to buy your masterpiece. Better still, the peer pressure of meeting that deadline makes you a 1,000 times more disciplined than if you didn't have a locked-in date.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
KEEPING SCORE
I'm busy.
It's spooky to be this busy. Think of any point in your life where you had a "Hell Week" - cramming for too many final exams in too few days, that last week before your wedding, being understaffed on the job, etc. Now imagine that running off into the unforseeable future.
That's busy.
And it has to be done. 'Cause if you don't do it (or can't pay someone else to do it), it won't get done. Ah well. It's good that I love what I'm doing. And that lack-of-sleep-thing won't stop me, not with all the caffeine I'm packing.
I got so busy that one of those little daily planner thingees just wouldn't cut it. I buy 'em every so often, let them collect dust, and then throw 'em out during a spring cleaning (2 years later, on average). So, I ultimatedly went into Excel and set up a spreadsheet.
Each row of the spreadsheet was a single, solitary day. I filled up a bunch of columns with tasks I find necessary: whether it be working on Collection #2, paying writing-related bills, forcing myself to network with the outside world, submitting short stories to magazines, etc. I throw in non-writing-related stuff too (b/c life intervenes in so many different ways), like chores or exercise.
Um, if you don't know how to work Excel, put this blog entry under the nose of someone who does. He/she can probably set this up in five minutes or less. Buy him/her a lunch or something.
Each simple thing gets a score of 1 point. I edit something: 1 point. Send something to my editor to look over: 1 point. Post a blog: 1 point. MOST IMPORTANTLY: NEVER LET ANYTHING HAVE A "0" SCORE BY THE END OF THE WEEK. Do something for each task, each week, and stuff won't slip past you.
My goal's 25 points per week. And I've yet to miss my quota. I try to add stuff in the mornings, during lunch breaks, evenings, weekends . . . I need more hours in the day. Last week was my busiest week to date. I actually hit 36 points.
Yep. I need a vacation. The irony is that I'd probably spend (at least) a third of the time hunched over my computer, trying to knock down points as efficiently as I can.
It's spooky to be this busy. Think of any point in your life where you had a "Hell Week" - cramming for too many final exams in too few days, that last week before your wedding, being understaffed on the job, etc. Now imagine that running off into the unforseeable future.
That's busy.
And it has to be done. 'Cause if you don't do it (or can't pay someone else to do it), it won't get done. Ah well. It's good that I love what I'm doing. And that lack-of-sleep-thing won't stop me, not with all the caffeine I'm packing.
I got so busy that one of those little daily planner thingees just wouldn't cut it. I buy 'em every so often, let them collect dust, and then throw 'em out during a spring cleaning (2 years later, on average). So, I ultimatedly went into Excel and set up a spreadsheet.
Each row of the spreadsheet was a single, solitary day. I filled up a bunch of columns with tasks I find necessary: whether it be working on Collection #2, paying writing-related bills, forcing myself to network with the outside world, submitting short stories to magazines, etc. I throw in non-writing-related stuff too (b/c life intervenes in so many different ways), like chores or exercise.
Um, if you don't know how to work Excel, put this blog entry under the nose of someone who does. He/she can probably set this up in five minutes or less. Buy him/her a lunch or something.
Each simple thing gets a score of 1 point. I edit something: 1 point. Send something to my editor to look over: 1 point. Post a blog: 1 point. MOST IMPORTANTLY: NEVER LET ANYTHING HAVE A "0" SCORE BY THE END OF THE WEEK. Do something for each task, each week, and stuff won't slip past you.
My goal's 25 points per week. And I've yet to miss my quota. I try to add stuff in the mornings, during lunch breaks, evenings, weekends . . . I need more hours in the day. Last week was my busiest week to date. I actually hit 36 points.
Yep. I need a vacation. The irony is that I'd probably spend (at least) a third of the time hunched over my computer, trying to knock down points as efficiently as I can.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
TREAT YOUR DOLLARS LIKE SOLDIERS
Back when I was "broker-than-broke", I came up with an odd way to save money. I imagined that I was at war against my bills and that my army was in my wallet/bank account. Together, we'd fight the forces of the electric bill, rent, and the nigh-unslayable student loan. And over the years, many a valiant "soldier" perished in the meat grinder of War. Luckily, every payday, reinforcements would arrive. But every so often, I'd waste my "soldiers" on trips, movies, and fun nights out: especially back when I didn't know what I wanted out of life (you know, that "writing thing").
I know. It's goofy. But damn if it didn't work!
And I wasn't cheap. If a friend was in trouble, I'd help him/her in the same way a leader would send troops to help (and maybe die) for a treasured ally. And this dollar = soldier philosophy came and went, depending on what I was trying to pay off. But I'll tell you this, my legion of readers [lol]: when you finally deem your work to be complete and ready to send forth, treat your cash like your own private army. 'Cause, at times, your loot will be your best friend and can help you acquire your heart's desire (well-edited literature, self-publishing expenses, a new computer to type up stories with, etc.).
Having just put Collection #1 in the can, paid taxes, donated money to charity, paid off my cover art, I'm feeling like Sun Tzu or Hannibal after a major campaign. Somehow, I did all of the above in under a year, with a whole lot of self-deprivation (similar to wartime) and with wicked casualties. But the enemy's in full retreat because of prudent planning, discipline, hard work, and tons of luck.
The war ain't over 'til it's won, of course. But I'm feeling good about this fight. All I have to do now is make sure that I don't sacrifice too many of my valiant "soldiers" over useless tactical objectives (like a new car).
But seriously, if you're gonna get into the self-publishing game, save a ton of money . . . [okay, stop laughing] . . . [no, really - knock it off]. Life doesn't let the average human being save money. So you'll probably either give up or pay as you go.
Do the latter.
The "pay-as-you-go" tactic can be done, as long as you strategically plan ahead (like a general at war). Look to the battles/war yet to be fought. And then make sure that you use your "soldiers" wisely.
I know. It's goofy. But damn if it didn't work!
And I wasn't cheap. If a friend was in trouble, I'd help him/her in the same way a leader would send troops to help (and maybe die) for a treasured ally. And this dollar = soldier philosophy came and went, depending on what I was trying to pay off. But I'll tell you this, my legion of readers [lol]: when you finally deem your work to be complete and ready to send forth, treat your cash like your own private army. 'Cause, at times, your loot will be your best friend and can help you acquire your heart's desire (well-edited literature, self-publishing expenses, a new computer to type up stories with, etc.).
Having just put Collection #1 in the can, paid taxes, donated money to charity, paid off my cover art, I'm feeling like Sun Tzu or Hannibal after a major campaign. Somehow, I did all of the above in under a year, with a whole lot of self-deprivation (similar to wartime) and with wicked casualties. But the enemy's in full retreat because of prudent planning, discipline, hard work, and tons of luck.
The war ain't over 'til it's won, of course. But I'm feeling good about this fight. All I have to do now is make sure that I don't sacrifice too many of my valiant "soldiers" over useless tactical objectives (like a new car).
But seriously, if you're gonna get into the self-publishing game, save a ton of money . . . [okay, stop laughing] . . . [no, really - knock it off]. Life doesn't let the average human being save money. So you'll probably either give up or pay as you go.
Do the latter.
The "pay-as-you-go" tactic can be done, as long as you strategically plan ahead (like a general at war). Look to the battles/war yet to be fought. And then make sure that you use your "soldiers" wisely.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
THANK GOD FOR WIKIPEDIA!
Once uponn a time, in a darkened room with a nice rug, I was doing a rewrite on an old short story called "The Bloodjacker". In said short story, a guy from Jersey decided to take a Japanese longbow and shoot a vampire he had stumbled across in a Tokyo alleyway.
Did I know diddly about Japanese longbows? Nope. So what did I do? I went to Wikipedia and rooted around until I found a decent photo of one, along with a description of what they're typically made of and how effective they were. Such details helped make my story better.
My advice: use Wikipedia when you need detailed information on a place, event, historical figure, type of surface-to-air missile, etc. It's better than the encyclopedias of old, with pictures and links galore. It's like having an expert standing over your shoulder.
So, if that Google search isn't doing it for ya', hit Wikipedia with an evil smile.
The link's below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
or,
Just type in "Wikipedia" in the appropriate search engine.
Did I know diddly about Japanese longbows? Nope. So what did I do? I went to Wikipedia and rooted around until I found a decent photo of one, along with a description of what they're typically made of and how effective they were. Such details helped make my story better.
My advice: use Wikipedia when you need detailed information on a place, event, historical figure, type of surface-to-air missile, etc. It's better than the encyclopedias of old, with pictures and links galore. It's like having an expert standing over your shoulder.
So, if that Google search isn't doing it for ya', hit Wikipedia with an evil smile.
The link's below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
or,
Just type in "Wikipedia" in the appropriate search engine.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
THE "DIFFERENT" STYLE OF WRITING
As a personal preference, short stories need to be twisted. The definition of twisted is to take a perfectly predictable story plot and subject it to something . . . different.
That's why I like sci-fi, horror, and fantasy: all of which are easy for throwing in twists. It can be done in fiction too (albeit with some more effort). And I don't mean plot twists, wherein all you do is throw in a bit of a surprise (like Luke Skywalker finding out that Darth Vader's his father).
I mean write the story so that it's frggin' DIFFERENT to its very core, and then reveal that fact at some point in the story (that's why Star Wars made so much damned money - it was just different throughout: from the Jedi to the Ewoks).
But for those of you not wanting to create your own full-fledged universes, fear not. A different story can start with a relatively mundane situation . . . and then just go off into the weird. Readers love that feeling of twisted surprise – if you do it right.
For example: I wrote a piece called “A Timely Assist”. A National Guardsman’s stuck in a patch of Iraqi desert with a leg wound. A bunch of insurgents are driving after him in a pair of jeeps. They want him as a hostage to behead. Knowing this, he sets up into a prone shooting position, reloads his last full clip and vows to survive this (somehow). He’s just about to open fire when . . . a British dude asks him if he happens to have a working radio. Startled, the guardsman turns around to find he’s got six armed British commandos standing around behind him . . . and they’re all ghosts! And things get really different from there.
When sitting somewhere, trying to figure out a concept for a different story, cram two things together that have no business being together (like British ghosts with guns). Mix ninjas and zombies (I did that once). Mix aliens and politicians (I did that once, too).
Or, frame a different story in the context of a “What if?” scenario that didn’t fit the regular story mold. For example: I did a story called “Gizmo Sleuth” some years back. It had a 1930’s pulp feel to it. And I asked: “What if there was a super hero; who was part-detective, part-mad genius?” I mean, he’s beating up Nazis, thwarting a rival mad genius, and flat-out saving the day on anti-psychotics!
Writing a love story? Murder? Crime Tale? Same thing, folks.
Fart an unusual story spin out of the creative recesses of your minds.
Then tell it differently.
And please make it twisted.
It’ll make the story better.
That's why I like sci-fi, horror, and fantasy: all of which are easy for throwing in twists. It can be done in fiction too (albeit with some more effort). And I don't mean plot twists, wherein all you do is throw in a bit of a surprise (like Luke Skywalker finding out that Darth Vader's his father).
I mean write the story so that it's frggin' DIFFERENT to its very core, and then reveal that fact at some point in the story (that's why Star Wars made so much damned money - it was just different throughout: from the Jedi to the Ewoks).
But for those of you not wanting to create your own full-fledged universes, fear not. A different story can start with a relatively mundane situation . . . and then just go off into the weird. Readers love that feeling of twisted surprise – if you do it right.
For example: I wrote a piece called “A Timely Assist”. A National Guardsman’s stuck in a patch of Iraqi desert with a leg wound. A bunch of insurgents are driving after him in a pair of jeeps. They want him as a hostage to behead. Knowing this, he sets up into a prone shooting position, reloads his last full clip and vows to survive this (somehow). He’s just about to open fire when . . . a British dude asks him if he happens to have a working radio. Startled, the guardsman turns around to find he’s got six armed British commandos standing around behind him . . . and they’re all ghosts! And things get really different from there.
When sitting somewhere, trying to figure out a concept for a different story, cram two things together that have no business being together (like British ghosts with guns). Mix ninjas and zombies (I did that once). Mix aliens and politicians (I did that once, too).
Or, frame a different story in the context of a “What if?” scenario that didn’t fit the regular story mold. For example: I did a story called “Gizmo Sleuth” some years back. It had a 1930’s pulp feel to it. And I asked: “What if there was a super hero; who was part-detective, part-mad genius?” I mean, he’s beating up Nazis, thwarting a rival mad genius, and flat-out saving the day on anti-psychotics!
Writing a love story? Murder? Crime Tale? Same thing, folks.
Fart an unusual story spin out of the creative recesses of your minds.
Then tell it differently.
And please make it twisted.
It’ll make the story better.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
HOW TO WRITE THE TWISTED STUFF
A bunch of posts in and I haven't said diddly on the most basic question many a writer would have about short stories: How do you write them?
There are plenty of techniques a writer can use to generate a short story. But frankly, anyone can write a short story if he/she puts in enough time. Odds are we all had to do a short story at least once in our lives (English class, most likely). And if you do enough of them, with the aim of honing your chops, you'll be top-notch someday. It's like cooking, dancing, or speaking your native tongue: you only learn by doing.
Some basic parameters for writing short stories:
1. Keep it within 1,000 - 3,000 words (a good middle range for a story).
2. When you write that very first draft, don't worry about it being perfect. Just knock it down and polish it up later.
3. It's easier to write in the past tense than the present tense. Whichever tense you pick, stick with it.
4. Keep your plot different and unpredictable from other stuff. Your reader shouldn't see your story's entire plot coming a mile away.
5. Balance your details. Tell enough for the reader to understand/enjoy the story (scenery, descriptions, etc.). But don't bog the tale down with tons of useless details either.
6. Good dialogue enhances a story, especially if it's something memorable (silly, odd, etc.). Don't believe me? Think of your favorite movies and you'll probably remember cool lines from it.
7. Realism matters (even when doing sci-fi or fantasy). When you're done with that first draft of story, look for - and weed out - anything that doesn't make sense. If you're writing a western, where the cowboy whips out a six-shooter and fires fifteen times (without reloading), that's a reality gap.
8. Conflicts are key. Without it, it's hard to keep a story from becoming just a bunch of (probably) boring events written in prose. Whether the conflict's violent or a subtle test of wills, think your conflict through before you write it down. Good conflicts aren't necesarily run-of-the-mill. Shoot for a dilemma that's not so easy to solve/avoid.
9. Don't be afraid to show your characters' flaws. If the hero' an alcoholic womanizer with a heavy fear of heights, so be it. Such imperfections can be played beautifully.
10. Make up a bit of back story for the main characters. Know (at the vey least) their past, what motivates them. Armed with that info, you can direct their actions a lot more easily. I wrote a story about a husband killing his wife and how he almost got away with it. A fried of mine looked it over and asked "why'd he kill her"? I didn't put it in or even think it over ("duh" on me).
11. Make sure the ending has some kick to it. A snappy line. A dramatic exit. Or, at the very least, make the ending a logical place to stop.
There are plenty of techniques a writer can use to generate a short story. But frankly, anyone can write a short story if he/she puts in enough time. Odds are we all had to do a short story at least once in our lives (English class, most likely). And if you do enough of them, with the aim of honing your chops, you'll be top-notch someday. It's like cooking, dancing, or speaking your native tongue: you only learn by doing.
Some basic parameters for writing short stories:
1. Keep it within 1,000 - 3,000 words (a good middle range for a story).
2. When you write that very first draft, don't worry about it being perfect. Just knock it down and polish it up later.
3. It's easier to write in the past tense than the present tense. Whichever tense you pick, stick with it.
4. Keep your plot different and unpredictable from other stuff. Your reader shouldn't see your story's entire plot coming a mile away.
5. Balance your details. Tell enough for the reader to understand/enjoy the story (scenery, descriptions, etc.). But don't bog the tale down with tons of useless details either.
6. Good dialogue enhances a story, especially if it's something memorable (silly, odd, etc.). Don't believe me? Think of your favorite movies and you'll probably remember cool lines from it.
7. Realism matters (even when doing sci-fi or fantasy). When you're done with that first draft of story, look for - and weed out - anything that doesn't make sense. If you're writing a western, where the cowboy whips out a six-shooter and fires fifteen times (without reloading), that's a reality gap.
8. Conflicts are key. Without it, it's hard to keep a story from becoming just a bunch of (probably) boring events written in prose. Whether the conflict's violent or a subtle test of wills, think your conflict through before you write it down. Good conflicts aren't necesarily run-of-the-mill. Shoot for a dilemma that's not so easy to solve/avoid.
9. Don't be afraid to show your characters' flaws. If the hero' an alcoholic womanizer with a heavy fear of heights, so be it. Such imperfections can be played beautifully.
10. Make up a bit of back story for the main characters. Know (at the vey least) their past, what motivates them. Armed with that info, you can direct their actions a lot more easily. I wrote a story about a husband killing his wife and how he almost got away with it. A fried of mine looked it over and asked "why'd he kill her"? I didn't put it in or even think it over ("duh" on me).
11. Make sure the ending has some kick to it. A snappy line. A dramatic exit. Or, at the very least, make the ending a logical place to stop.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
TOYS
One of the nicest things about being a kid was having toys. The more toys, the more choices. More choices, the less boring childhood was. While my mom was kind enough to give me a decent arsenal of such toys growing up, I always wanted more of them. Still, working with what I had allowed me to realize that I had one hell of an imagination (like playing football with my Star Wars action figures).
Whether you're writing poetry, short stories, or even full-fledged books, think of your lit pieces as toys. You want to build a sort of reserve. The more pieces in your arsenal, the more choices you have. But doing this takes a block of time and considerable focus. Having a compelling reason helps.
Once upon a time, I pretty much tossed a year of my life away writing short stories. I wasn't doing it for fame or wealth. I did it to stay sane after a particularly-painful breakup.
At the end of that year (2007), I looked over the fifty-plus short stories and realized that I was onto to something here. Some of these pieces needed to be shared, just on title alone: "Ninja Leprechauns", "A Rabbi And A Demon", "Heavenly Draft", etc. These "toys" are what I ended up using to put my collection together. And should I ever run into that beautiful gal who shattered my heart . . . I owe her a Coke.
So, write yourself some toys. Create more of them than you need. If you write that kickassed novel, write the sequel right after it (just to prove that you can).
Then spend some time creating and polishing, in bulk, your toys. Because once you start with the nuts-and-bolts side of the writing business, you'll have less writing time (belive me). I try to kick out a story a week, just to satisfy my "writing addiction", keep my edge, and to expand my pool of options for future collections.
But you know what? I also spit out new stuff because I want more "toys". And unlike my Star Wars action figures, I don't mind sharing these.
Whether you're writing poetry, short stories, or even full-fledged books, think of your lit pieces as toys. You want to build a sort of reserve. The more pieces in your arsenal, the more choices you have. But doing this takes a block of time and considerable focus. Having a compelling reason helps.
Once upon a time, I pretty much tossed a year of my life away writing short stories. I wasn't doing it for fame or wealth. I did it to stay sane after a particularly-painful breakup.
At the end of that year (2007), I looked over the fifty-plus short stories and realized that I was onto to something here. Some of these pieces needed to be shared, just on title alone: "Ninja Leprechauns", "A Rabbi And A Demon", "Heavenly Draft", etc. These "toys" are what I ended up using to put my collection together. And should I ever run into that beautiful gal who shattered my heart . . . I owe her a Coke.
So, write yourself some toys. Create more of them than you need. If you write that kickassed novel, write the sequel right after it (just to prove that you can).
Then spend some time creating and polishing, in bulk, your toys. Because once you start with the nuts-and-bolts side of the writing business, you'll have less writing time (belive me). I try to kick out a story a week, just to satisfy my "writing addiction", keep my edge, and to expand my pool of options for future collections.
But you know what? I also spit out new stuff because I want more "toys". And unlike my Star Wars action figures, I don't mind sharing these.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
When it comes to writing, details are everything. A short story, for example, shouldn't be edited just once . . . or twice . . . or even ten times. The funky thing about creating a short story from the depths of your mind is that it has you thinking it's a friggin' masterpiece. I've felt a bit godly when I wrapped up a particularly-great story.
But when you write something straight through, your creative side's dominating . . . not necessarily the part of you that edits. And this is for the best, when it comes to your first draft. Write that sweet piece and then set it aside and move on to the next story. When you get a chance, look over that first "masterpiece" and you'll see its imperfections. Don't pitch it. Just make it better, whether it's a simple polish or a flatout rewrite.
Once you're done with the edit, save it and move on to another piece. Pick it up later and (I'll betcha' good money) you'll find some more flaws and/or ways to make it better. It's natural. It's for the best. And if you love your works, you'll spend countless hours making them better. If you submit a crappy piece, it'll be treated like a crappy piece.
Get an editor to look over your pieces, someone with experience who charges by the page (vs. the hour). If you can't afford one, find someone nitpicky to help you out. And if you're friendless and penniless, self-edit away. But realize that outside perspectives have - at least, in my experience - made a difference in the final product.
So write a bunch of stories and then edit them multiple times. And when the improvements stop flowing, you've made your stories as good as they can be. Then you try to publish them.
But when you write something straight through, your creative side's dominating . . . not necessarily the part of you that edits. And this is for the best, when it comes to your first draft. Write that sweet piece and then set it aside and move on to the next story. When you get a chance, look over that first "masterpiece" and you'll see its imperfections. Don't pitch it. Just make it better, whether it's a simple polish or a flatout rewrite.
Once you're done with the edit, save it and move on to another piece. Pick it up later and (I'll betcha' good money) you'll find some more flaws and/or ways to make it better. It's natural. It's for the best. And if you love your works, you'll spend countless hours making them better. If you submit a crappy piece, it'll be treated like a crappy piece.
Get an editor to look over your pieces, someone with experience who charges by the page (vs. the hour). If you can't afford one, find someone nitpicky to help you out. And if you're friendless and penniless, self-edit away. But realize that outside perspectives have - at least, in my experience - made a difference in the final product.
So write a bunch of stories and then edit them multiple times. And when the improvements stop flowing, you've made your stories as good as they can be. Then you try to publish them.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
WHERE I STAND
The odd thing about this blog is my timing. I should've (perhaps) started this puppy in April of 2010, when I stumbled across a great editor (Ed) and started putting my first collection together.
Ultimately dubbed "Unheroic", this collection of short stories had a common theme of folks saving the day who didn't fit the mold of the stereotypical good guy/gal/thing. In one of my stories, called "An Ounce of Prevention", a demon saves the world. And he's not seeking redemption or facing some crisis of conscience. He kills quite a few people doing it. But the circumstances of his actions were so damned unique that he was sent to save the day (for now) by the Devil himself.
For "Unheroic", I threw in sci-fi, fantasy, and horror. And detailing these mad pieces, as I wrote 'em, would've added mad spice to this blog. Instead, I start this blog off during the self-publishing stage (not quite as fun, I assure you).
At this point, Ed's edited all 36 stories. A talented graphic artist (Lincoln) is doing the cover art. And combined, I'm paying them enough to send a family of four to the Bahamas for a couple of weeks. :)
I guess my advice won't be just on how to write stuff. I can share wisdom as I stumble toward whatever future this effort holds. The funny little things I've picked up should be shared. So I'll share 'em. Maybe they'll help you in some way.
Ultimately dubbed "Unheroic", this collection of short stories had a common theme of folks saving the day who didn't fit the mold of the stereotypical good guy/gal/thing. In one of my stories, called "An Ounce of Prevention", a demon saves the world. And he's not seeking redemption or facing some crisis of conscience. He kills quite a few people doing it. But the circumstances of his actions were so damned unique that he was sent to save the day (for now) by the Devil himself.
For "Unheroic", I threw in sci-fi, fantasy, and horror. And detailing these mad pieces, as I wrote 'em, would've added mad spice to this blog. Instead, I start this blog off during the self-publishing stage (not quite as fun, I assure you).
At this point, Ed's edited all 36 stories. A talented graphic artist (Lincoln) is doing the cover art. And combined, I'm paying them enough to send a family of four to the Bahamas for a couple of weeks. :)
I guess my advice won't be just on how to write stuff. I can share wisdom as I stumble toward whatever future this effort holds. The funny little things I've picked up should be shared. So I'll share 'em. Maybe they'll help you in some way.
HEAVYWEIGHT WRITING CONTEST
It's about that time of the year again. The Writer's Digest is having their annual contest. It's a beast: with categories ranging from short stories to poetry to short plays.
In Google, set up a search.
Type in "Writer's Digest Contest 2011".
Once in their site, look for the link to their Annual Writing Competition.
Details, rules, and entry fees are posted. The prizes/fame/possible contacts are why you should consider entering.
And if you have a phobia about submitting stuff, now's the chance to bury it.
If you think you're the sh*t, now's your chance to prove it.
Give it a peek.
In Google, set up a search.
Type in "Writer's Digest Contest 2011".
Once in their site, look for the link to their Annual Writing Competition.
Details, rules, and entry fees are posted. The prizes/fame/possible contacts are why you should consider entering.
And if you have a phobia about submitting stuff, now's the chance to bury it.
If you think you're the sh*t, now's your chance to prove it.
Give it a peek.
THAT RINZLER GUY
While sifting through sites referencing short story collections, I stumbled across a blog by a veteran writer named Alan Rinzler. He had an interesting article on the popularity of short story collections (among other things).
To find it, go to Google prep a search.
Then type his name as one word: "AlanRinzler" and throw in "The Book Deal".
Check it out. There might be some useful info in there for ya'.
To find it, go to Google prep a search.
Then type his name as one word: "AlanRinzler" and throw in "The Book Deal".
Check it out. There might be some useful info in there for ya'.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
THE “WHAT IF” TECHNIQUE
If faced with writer's block, one twisted little way to squeeze a story out of your subconscious is the "What If" technique. Quite a few of my short stories came in being this way. The core part of this technique's to look at something in the real world and ask yourself "What if . . . . ?"
It's a simple, effective way to come up with a story. Odds are you've seen a movie or read a book based on a "What if" scenario. Some examples:
Think of Underworld (a classic movie): "What if vampires and werewolves had a war?"
Then there was Saving Private Ryan: "What if 8 soldiers are sent into insanely-hostile territory to rescue 1 soldier – a mere private, no less?"
And, of course, there's Kick-Ass: "What if a comic book geek decided to become a vigilante 'super hero': with no powers, fancy gadgets, or even training?"
The advantages of the "What if" are powerful. For one thing, you give your story an instant, solid foundation to build upon. Second, you can explain an idea a lot faster to someone else through a "What if" – which helps when dealing with potential buyers with short attention spans.
Now, how do you mine a good, solid "What if" that no one else has gotten to yet? Just look around your everyday existence and let your creativity hunt one down. Odds are you're sitting on top of one and don't even know it. And they can come from anywhere.
Just of thinking of stuff I've seen this week, here are some "What if" moments for myself:
- I saw a guy with a "Will Work For Food" sign (as I'm sure we all have). But what if someone came across a homeless man with a slightly different sign. Maybe the sign says: "Will Kill For Food"? You give him a ham sandwich and the name of your annoying next-door neighbor, just as a joke. And the next day, your neighbor is dead. And when you come across that wino's path, he thanks for sandwich . . . with a strange, crazy grin on his face.
- It's snowing like crazy around where I live, in post-holiday January. Hmm. Let me run with this a bit . . . What if you found yourself Christmas shopping in the midst of a zombie apocalypse? Your kids are all bummed out about having to stay hidden, seeing as zombies are all over the place. And you're dumb enough to risk your life to give 'em some holiday cheer. So you grab a machete, some 12-gauge rounds, and stroll off – through a raging blizzard – to a long-abandoned Wal-Mart ('cause they have everything).
- Some colleagues at my job kidnapped a stuffed dog and demanded a plate of cookies as a ransom. One of the ransom demands was left as a voicemail, using an iPhone app that lets you talk in a Darth Vader voice (kinda' cool, I thought). Anyway, what if some unsuspecting person got an iPhone knockoff with thousands of apps and stumbled across one marked "Super Hero"? And, with the press of a button, the damned phone sprouts arms, legs, a cape and flies off to fight evil?
C'mon. Give it a try. Anyone who dreams up some particularly awesome "What If" concepts are free to post with their comments (just no full stories, please).
Good luck.
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