I HAD PANCAKES

The worst thing about the midlife crisis phenomenon is that I've had more than one.  My first one hit me after grad school, when I was 25ish.  Sort of a "What now?" phase, it was followed  by a bunch of other mid-life moments.  I don't remember how many.  I just remembered that lost, restless, "there's-gotta-be-more-to-life-than-this" feeling: of watching months and years fall off the calendar without a real plan.

Then I crossed into 30-something land and figured I wanted to be a writer . . . but of what type?  I did novels, screenplays, short stories and couldn't lock on to a solid plan of attack.  I had excuses galore to not do jack: the current self-publishing technology wasn't around, I didn't have the money to start a business, women, laziness, blahblahblah.  But I couldn't stop trying.  And as many times as I stopped writing, I had to start up again (it's in blood, I guess).

Know what?  I'm glad my life was a chaotic pile of sewage all those years.

Why?  Because, when I turned 38 in 2009, I was looking ahead and chomping at the bit to get sh$t done.  I had some help for my first book ("Unheroic"), the means to see it published, tons of written ideas/material in reserve, and nothing left to stop me.  When life finally fell into place, all those years of stumbling around in the dark were actually useful.  I became a better, more focused writer and much wiser coming out of the gate.

Now I'm 40. 

And during my last hour as a 30-something, I decided to get pancakes.  The best thing about this midlife crisis phenomenon was that I had irons in the fire way before I hit 40.  I don't wanna imagine how crappy it would've been like to wake up, turn 40, and THEN start a writing from scratch.  Nope, I simply had breakfast and checked Amazon.com, waiting on them to upload my second collection: "The Book of Schemes". 
I guess the moral of this particular ramblage is this: if you want to write, but aren't ready to publish, just write until you are ready.  Look ahead, keep your life baggage to an acceptable minimum, and learn what you can.  Then, someday, I hope you'll be able to quietly celebrate a birthday without that nagging midlife itch in your soul - whether you're in your 20's or your 90's.

Hope this was of use.